It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior?

  • rzjt151
    University: shandong university
    Nationality: China
    September 10, 2020 at 9:27 am

    It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior?

    It is difficult for parents and teachers to educate children about the difference between right and wrong, but it is essential to help children become good citizens. Although there are many measures for parents and tutors to choose, punishment is the most common method because of tradition or great efficiency. I agree that punishment is a great approach for guiding children under the consideration of their self-esteem.

    Punishment works pretty well because of the sense of blame. Doing the wrong things is regular for children as they learn the distinction between right and wrong by identifying the responses from adults. After making lots of mistakes, they become mature both physically and mentally. Therefore, parents and teachers need more patience for the unavoidable process. They are able to classify the level of mistakes and match the appropriate punishment. Small mistakes can be ignored if children realize the unpleasant results and feel embarrassed.

    Violence should be banned when children make mistakes, which may cause mental illness or disabilities. Parents and tutors should focus on the reasons why children do wrong things. Do they lack self-discipline? Or be influenced by bad students? Or copy the behavior in action movies or violent videos? Parents and teachers have to analyze the process of behavior changes occurred on children and provide specific advice or guidance for them. To emphasize the serious consequence, educators can regulate children to do some simple work like clean the house or classroom, do the voluntary job for a better neighborhood, or write an essay about his or her feeling about making mistakes to remind themselves doing the right things.

    Above all, punishment can be used to educate children on the difference between right and wrong. However, the personal situation and self-esteem should be referenced by parents and teachers.

    September 11, 2020 at 12:56 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    rzjt151
    University: shandong university
    Nationality: China
    September 11, 2020 at 3:01 am

    Educating children about the difference between right and wrong is a tough task for parents and teachers.  There are many measures to help children become good citizens. Punishment is one of the most common methods because of tradition or great efficiency. I believe that punishment should be adopted with the consideration of children’s self-esteem.

    Punishment works pretty well because of the sense of blame. Doing the wrong things is regular for children as they learn the distinction between right and wrong by identifying the adults’ responses. After making lots of mistakes, they become mature mentally. Therefore, parents and teachers need more patience for the unavoidable process. They are able to classify the level of mistakes and match the appropriate punishment.  If children have realized the unpleasant results and felt ashamed by their mistakes, parents and teachers would better forgive them.

    Violence should be banned in any circumstances, because it may cause children’s unhealthy development. Parents and tutors should focus on the reasons why children do wrong things rather than using violence. Do they lack self-discipline? Or learn from bad students? Or copy the behavior in action movies or violent videos? Parents and teachers have to provide specific advice or guidance for children according to their conditions.  There are some available simple punishments, such as cleaning the house or classroom, doing the voluntary job for a better neighborhood, or writing an apology letter. These punishments are able to teach them how to take responsibility.

    Above all,  punishment is an effective method to educate children on the difference between right and wrong, but personal situation and self-esteem should be referenced by parents and teachers.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 4 days ago by Avatarrzjt151.
    September 11, 2020 at 3:07 am

    Educating children about the difference between right and wrong is a tough task for parents and teachers.  [Lack of logical connection with the prior sentence  ]There are many measures to help children become good citizens. Punishment is one of the most common methods [such a method  ]because of (tradition or great efficiency)[ unclear ]. [poor logical connection with the last sentence  ]I believe that punishment should be adopted with the consideration of children’s self-esteem.

    Punishment works pretty well because of (the sense of blame)[ unclear ]. Doing the wrong things is regular[wrong word  ] for children as they learn the distinction between right and wrong by identifying the adults’ responses[poor logical connection  ]. After making lots of mistakes, they become mature mentally. Therefore, parents and teachers need more patience for the unavoidable process. They are able to classify the level of mistakes and match the appropriate punishment.  If children have realized the unpleasant results and felt ashamed by their mistakes, parents and teachers would better forgive them.

    Violence should be banned in any circumstances, because it may cause children’s unhealthy development. Parents and tutors should focus on the reasons why children do wrong things rather than using violence. Do they lack self-discipline? Or learn from bad students? Or copy the behavior in action movies or violent videos? Parents and teachers have to provide specific advice or guidance for children according to their conditions.  There are some available simple punishments, such as cleaning the house or classroom, doing the voluntary job for a better neighborhood, or writing an apology letter. These punishments are able to teach them how to take responsibility.

    Above all,  punishment is an effective method to educate children on the difference between right and wrong, but personal situation and self-esteem should be referenced by parents and teachers.

    September 11, 2020 at 3:14 am

    Partial revision [Almost all sentences are problematic.]