It is important for us to know the news around the world even though we know it can hardly affect our daily life.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is important for us to know the news around the world even though we know it can hardly affect our daily life.

  • Vincentshi
    University: Southwestern University of Finance and Economics
    Nationality: China
    December 12, 2020 at 4:17 am

    It is important for us to know the news around the world even though we know it can hardly affect our daily life.

    With the advent and development of telecommunication and social media, the era that we are in is full of diverse news and information. Some people embrace the news and regard it as a main source to gain knowledge and have fun. While others feel exhausted about receiving and dealing with different news and refuse to know some news deliberately. As for me, knowing some seemingly irrelevant news may be beneficial to us in the near future, and the only thing that we should pay attention to is the quality and reliability of the news.

    Firstly, while some news seems irrelevant to us now, it is of high possibility that it will be used by us in the future. To begin with, only by knowing the occurrence of a piece of news can our curiosity be triggered, and then we can dive deep to that problem and prepare well when the opportunity comes. Taking Steve Jobs as an example, knowing the invention of glass screen seemed irrelevant to him since the phone industry at that time was dominated by traditional cell phones. However, it was because of him knowing this news could he think more about a revolutionary series of the touch-screen cell phones and introduced iPhone to the market later.

    Secondly, however, while knowing diverse news plays an important role in our life, it is equally important to bear in mind that we need to differentiate between the reliable news and the fake ones. Receiving some unreliable news not only wastes our time but also adversely impacts our life. When you receive unreliable news or even believe in it, you will then have a wrong understanding of what is happening and adopt irrational measures subsequently, which may be a waste of time and energy and yield no positive results.

    To sum up, I am in favor of knowing some seemingly unreliable news in our life in consideration of the possible usage in the future. And we should also pay attention to the reliable news and ignore the unreliable ones.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 12, 2020 at 4:35 pm

     

    Score: 55.9

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.