It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Riddlesh
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: Mainland China
    March 25, 2021 at 6:00 am

    It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    We’re living in a complex world, everything aroud us is changing fast for all the time.Some would hold the view that instead of learning things irrelevant to us, it’s far better to just ignore those. But in my opinion, it still hold its own neccessities and reasons.

    First and foremost, events seem unrelated to you were not indeed impossible to affect you. For instance, a brand-new teaching method was put into implementation in a certain school. We could determine these things as totally irrelevant things, however, we could still gain knowledge and experience by knowing the method and it’s consequences. Thus, we would attain a better understanding of what should we do for the time we wanted to put our thoughts into use.

    Seondly, as I mentioned above, the world is a complicated system, which means high likelihood of butterfly effect. Events happened far away were also possible to affect your real life. The raise in the stock market could change the environment for a company, and this certain corporation would influence your life. So if we can gain the signs of these related actions, the loss can be reduced when the influence turns out to be a negative one.

    Last but not least, we’re supposed to observe the world in a more detailed way to converge our living mode . The blossom of the flowers along the road won’t affect your grades, but you’ll fell better and more energetic when seeing those.The beauty of sunset isn’t capable of solving your problems, but it allows you to switch your depressed emotion and relax yourself. Indeed, many things around you seem unimportant and unrelated to those significant ones, but you still can gain something else.

    For me, I still hold the view that it’s always useful to observe and learn. The events seem unrelated do not mean they’re unimportant, rationally and emotionally. The world is complex and beautiful, with great thinking and watching, you’re able to analyze it and drag the covered beauty of it.

     

    March 26, 2021 at 3:31 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).
    Riddlesh
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: Mainland China
    March 27, 2021 at 3:35 am

    We’re living in a complex world, everything around us is changing fast all the time.Some people hold the view that instead of learning things irrelevant to us, it’s far better to ignore those. But in my opinion, it still have its own neccessities and reasons.

    First and foremost, events seemed unrelated to you were not indeed impossible to affect you. For instance, a brand-new teaching method was put into implementation in a certain school. We could determine these things as completely irrelevant things. However, we could still gain knowledge and experience by knowing the method and consequences. In this way, we would get better understanding of what should we do for the time we wanted to put our thoughts into use.

    Seondly, the likelihood of butterfly effect is high. Events happened far away were also possible to affect your real life. The raise in the stock market could make a company wealthy.One certain corporation would influence your life after getting rich. We can catch the signs of changes if we have enough information.In this way, we can maximize the benefit and reduce the loss.

    Last but not least, we’re supposed to observe the world in a more detailed way . The blossom of the flowers won’t affect your grades, but you’ll feel more energetic. The beauty of sunset can’t solve your problems, but it allows you to relax yourself. Indeed, many things around you seem unimportant to those significant ones, but you still can gain something you can’t learn from the so-called priorities.

    For me, I still hold the view that it’s always useful to observe and learn. The events seem unrelated do not mean they’re unimportant, rationally and emotionally. The world is a complex system, and it holds its own beauty. With great thinking and watching, we’re able to analyze it and discover the fabulous part of it.

    March 28, 2021 at 1:59 am

    Lots of grammar, spacing and spelling errors.

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