It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours.Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. Write in complete sentences
3. State your argument clearly in the introduction, what side do you agree with and why?
4. Article errors

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

It’s common today for that employees to work eight hours a day five days a week for eight hours. Because most people rarely never work only three days a week for longer hours, the common case (vague, what do you mean?) becomes their preference. Clearly, this (what is “this”?) disguises the benefit of working three days a week and I believe a three-day working week will make workers more satisfied and efficient brings workers more utility.

In the first place Firstly, jobs that require three days a a three-day work week provides offer us more time to stay spend time with our families. Instead of a two-day weekend, workers would have four days to spend off in a week Intensively working three days brings us a four-day vacation, while loosely working five days only gives us a weekend. With a the four-day break vacation, we would have enough time to show our children nature bring our kids to the wild, teach them some knowledge and let them know parents love them. With such activities, families will become closer and happier the happiness level of the family will definitely rise.

Also, intensive working hours would help us to improve our efficiency working abilities. The four-day break gives us the opportunity to study more skills., and we could can take online courses or read books during the four-day rest rest four days to improve ourselves. For example, a worker could civilian staff can learn some computer programming languages on their off days in the short day off. After mastering the programming language, he would will be able to become a data engineer and earn more money. Thus the shorter working week provides more brings us opportunity to earn more money and be happier.

I concede that working three days for long hours is exhausting exhausted, but working five days for shorter hours is not any easier. In China, the majority of workers work eight hours per day and five days per week. However, as the competition is intense becoming more severe, people start to work overtime. In order to get a promotion, many employees work ten hours or more per day and go to the office even on Saturday. The three-day working week can solve this problem because , since people already work for long hours per day, so they do not don’t have the energy to work overtime. Less severe Reducing the level of competition would also will surely reduce work stress and exhaustion our working pressure and compensate the exhausted working time.

Therefore, based on the three reasons above,  I strongly hold that working three days per week for longer hours is a preferrable for our society better choice.