It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Immortals
    University: Jilin University
    Nationality: China
    January 4, 2020 at 2:40 pm

    TPO 53: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    It’s been popularly discussed that which should be taken more seriously by the government between Internet access and public transportation. In my opinion, the government should certainly put more money and energy to deal with public transportation.

    It’s the era of digital information and many people become dependent on the Internet for their work and entertainment as well, so I clearly understand the need of improving Internet access. However, it’s also clear that the improvement of public transportation will surely bring much more benefits to the city.

    The first and the main reason I want to talk about how the life quality of locals relate to transportation. All of us in this society need to go outdoor from time to time to work, study, hang around and so on. It can be said that no one in this society can live without public transportation, so it’s obvious that even a tiny improvement will benefit a huge amount of the citizens. When I was in the first year of high school, I must take a total of two hours trip to get to school, including taking the bus and then exchange into the underground. Things changed in my second year after a new line of underground is set up, the time of the trip was abridged into just 45 minutes with no even a single exchange. Undoubtedly, there’re countless people benefit from the line like me, which means the input in transportation will surely bring great help to the quality of our life.

    Apart from the improvement of quality of life, from a further aspect, improving public transportation also do great help to the development of the city. The transportation may extend to the fringe of the city, which’s a great attraction to many outsiders to get into the city. For instance, once the quality of transportation is improved, many people outside the city and people living in the cities nearby may be willing to get in city and stayed for work and make more contributions to the city itself, building a great cycle for the development of the city. This kind of development sometimes even create a big city circle, which is right happening in some areas of the country. As we can see, Internet access just benefits the citizens right in the city, but public transportation jumps out of this limitation and do even more things.

    In summary, not only public transportation improve the quality of life much greater than Internet access do, it also do great help to the future development of the city, which make me believe that it’s a better choice to spend money on improving public transportation.

    January 14, 2020 at 2:15 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences contain more than 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
    3. The optimal length of a TOEFL essay is 280-320 words. Shorten your essay to 320- words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Regards.