It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

  • Chan
    University: zhongguochuanmeidaxue
    Nationality: China
    February 3, 2021 at 3:35 am

    It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

    There is widespread belief that the government should invest money to support the development of the public transportation instead of the Internet. However, some people deem that the Internet is more useful and convenient due to it can connect people around the world. From my perspective, I am glad to prefer the later idea.

    In the first place, Internet make the conversations among people more and more flexible and efficient. People can keep in touch with their friends and family by the Twitter or other communicating applications anywhere and anytime. It makes the distance among us shorter and shorter. My brother Tim had been sent aboard for studying since our childhood. We can only meet one time every year because Tim has to go back to hometown by air and the plane ticket is so expensive for us. But now we both register an facebook on the internet and we can have conversation any time and I have no need to be too concerned about my brother because I can know about his condition everyday.The Internet cements people’s relationship and make the society more lighted.

    Secondly, people can search for and gain wide range of knowledge from the Internet. All the answers of the questions occur to your life can be found by googling. Furthermore, some website set up by a group of educators can help students with their study and make sure they have ability to get good grade on all subjects. It is so convenient and reliable for some people living far from the big town that they also have chance to get education which has same quality as the children lining in developed city. Therefore, the Internet can reduce the intense of educational resources in the developing countries.

    In conclusion, it is necessary and urgent for the government to spend more money to improve the Internet.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 5, 2021 at 3:20 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.