It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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May 21, 2021 at 7:52 am
It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
A controversial issue in recent years is which is more important for the government to improve the network or public transportation. Some people believe that public transportation is worthy of being spent more money for its benefits. However, in my opinion, I think the government should put emphasis on the improvement of Internet access.
To begin with, Internet access is beneficial to the development of local economy. When Internet is accessible, local residents can start a business online, which can undoubtedly do people a favor to earn more money so that their living standard will also be improved. Moreover, it can also offer more jobs to local people after some relevant factories are built with the help of Internet access. And there is no doubt that these industries relating to the Internet are more profitable than traditional ones.
Moreover, Internet access is also the key to the innovation of technology. Once the Internet access is developed, people have a chance to accept new ideas, which can broaden their horizons and improve their innovative ability. Imagine that, when people know about a new educational technology, they can apply it to the classroom and kids can learn a lot of advanced knowledge so that their creative thinking can be developed at a young age. In that way, both of educational and scientific level can be promoted.
Admittedly, some people may concern that Internet access require a lot of money and often needs to be updated and maintained. However, I don’t really think that’s why we don’t develop Internet access. Although Internet access is high cost, it can bring huge economical benefits. Moreover, compared with Internet access, the establishment of public transportation is also expensive, at the same time, it not only is less beneficial than Internet access, but also has potential dangers, such as accidents.
As a conclusion, from what has been discussed, I think it’s a better choice for government to spend money to improve Internet access, for Internet access can be help for local economy and prompt the innovation of technology.
May 24, 2021 at 11:35 amScore: 40.8
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
- About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
May 26, 2021 at 6:31 amA controversial issue in recent years is which is more important for the government to improve the network or public transportation. Some people believe that it is worthwhile to spend more money on public transportation for its benefits. However, I think the government should promote the improvement of Internet access.
To begin with, Internet access is beneficial to the development of local economy. When Internet is accessible, residents can start a business online, which can help people to earn more money and improve their living standard. Moreover, it can also offer more jobs to local people after building some relevant factories with the help of Internet access. And there is no doubt that these industries relating to Internet are more profitable than traditional ones.
Moreover, Internet access is also the key to the innovation of technology. Once people develop the Internet access, we can accept new ideas, which can broaden their horizons and improve their innovative ability. Imagine that, when people know about a new educational technology, they can apply it to the classroom and kids can learn a lot of advanced knowledge so that their creative thinking can be developed at a young age. In that way, we can promote both of educational and scientific level .
Admittedly, some people may concern that Internet access require a lot of money and often needs to be updated and maintained. However, I don’t think that’s why we don’t develop Internet access. Although Internet access is high cost, it can bring huge economical benefits. Moreover, compared with Internet access, the establishment of public transportation is also expensive, at the same time, it not only is less beneficial than Internet access, but also has potential dangers, such as accidents.
As a conclusion, as I illustrate above, I think it’s a better choice for government to spend money to improve Internet access, for Internet access can be help for local economy and prompt the innovation of technology.
May 27, 2021 at 9:41 amA controversial issue in recent years is which is more important (wordy, simplify) for the government to improve the network (word choice error) or public transportation. Some people believe that (unnecessary) it is worthwhile to spend more money on public transportation for its benefits (wordy, simplify). However, I think the government should promote the improvement of (simplify) Internet access.
To begin with, Internet access is beneficial to the development of the local economy. When the Internet is accessible, residents can start a business online, which can help people to earn more money and improve their living standard. (combine this clause with the previous clause) Moreover, it can also offer more jobs to local people after building some (unnecessary) relevant factories with the help of Internet access. And there is no doubt that (simplify) these industries relating to the Internet are more profitable than traditional ones.
Moreover, Internet access is also the key to the innovation of technology (simplify). Once people develop the (article error) Internet access, we can accept new ideas, which can broaden their horizons and improve their innovative ability. Imagine that, (too informal) when people know about a (delete) new educational technology, they can apply it to the classroom and kids can learn a lot of advanced knowledge (simplify) so that their creative thinking can be developed at a young age. In that way, we can promote both of educational and scientific level (rewrite) .
Admittedly, some people may concern (verb form error) that Internet access require (verb form error) a lot of money and often needs to be updated and maintained. However, I don’t think (vague and informal) that’s why we don’t develop Internet access. Although Internet access is high cost (word choice error), it can bring huge economical (economic) benefits. Moreover, compared with Internet access, the establishment of public transportation is also expensive, at the same time, it not only is less beneficial than Internet access, but also has potential dangers, such as accidents. (simplify)
As a conclusion, as I illustrate above, I think it’s a better choice for government to spend money to improve Internet access, for Internet access can be help for local economy and prompt the innovation of technology. (run-on sentence, rewrite)
