It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

  • Jamie
    University: National Taipei University of Technology
    Nationality: 台灣
    October 10, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

    There has been an issue of whether keeping old friends is more important than making new friends. Some researchers may argue that making new friends is unnecessary. However, I firmly believe that creating a connection with new friends plays a critical role in each person, referring to education and business.

    First and foremost, when it comes to education, establishing a relationship with new friends is the key to success for students since they can acquire knowledge from different people, with studies to carry out well. The New York Times, for example, indicates that forming a close relationship with other unfamiliar researchers in different areas, including biology, physic, and chemistry; freshmen majoring in materials science will thrive in academia. That is to say, making new friends enables the students to be more engaging in their studies. To illustrate more thoroughly, materials science is an interdisciplinary program, involving in how to synthesize metals and ceramics to integrate into animals – known as artificial organs, and how the properties of materials apply to chemical formulas, including bonding energy as well as thermodynamics. Because of that, if the materials science students have new associates good in biology, physic as well as chemistry, they would receive information from different subjects to conduct their research successfully.

    Second, in terms of business, expanding relationships with new friends has a profound influence on everyone, meaning that there is a great opportunity to collaborate with firms from a variety of countries, with a bright outlook to obtain. For instance, the study on the connection between new relationships and success reveals a positive trend- one that, according to economists, allows businessmen to earn robust profits. Furthermore, from the viewpoint of economists, developing a rapport with others from different countries, such as America, Australia, and Japan to reach a long-term agreement with them, Taiwanese manufactures would export their products to other nations.

    In conclusion, some have suggested that maintaining a link with unknown people is unimportant. Nevertheless, in light of the success of undertaking research and business, people should associate with them.

    October 10, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

    Score: 39.4

    Main Issues:

    1. Many sentences are quite wordy. Shorten/simplify them to -20 words.
    2. Keep short paragraphs. Better restrict each paragraph within 100 words.

    I will email you screenshots to illustrate issues/errors of your essay.

    Regards,

    Lin Qiu