In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

  • Cassie1990
    University: Ji Lin University
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 2, 2019 at 11:20 am

    A railway line has recently been built.

    In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Due to the rapid urbanization, transportation has closely related to people’s daily life. Which method of transportation should the government invest more money on has trigged a head discussion. Many think that it is necessary for the government to construct more high-speed rails. They can improve commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance the connections between cities. However, others think that current public transportation can serve more cities especially for the local people.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to emphasize on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from the city centers because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road.

    In addition, the commuters also do not need to worry about the traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they suffer from many dangerous factors. They also need to concentrate on driving speed, traffic light and prevent other cars from causing problems.road condition. However, due to the fast trains, the commuters leave the drive to professionals, allowing them to go to work or study safely.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains is not a short-term profit. It is expensive and is not beneficial for a large scale of citizens. Therefore, it is better for the government to put more efforts and revenue to improve and update the current public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to more areas in the cities. It can also improve the locomotive management and environment of metro or bus stations. As a result, it is an effective way to encourage more people to take public transportation. This is a flow-on effecteffect, since the fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be. Furthermore, improving the conditions of highway, buses and subways is also a practical method to mitigate traffic congestions.

    In conclusion, I think in metropolis, the government should spend equal revenue on the fast rails and public transportation. However, in small cities, it is better for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation. Public transport is the main issue that affects more citizens because it serves more people.

    June 5, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    Score: 58.6

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten the essay to 320 words.

    Problems Highlight

    Due to the[Article error] rapid urbanization, transportation has closely related to people’s daily life. Which method of transportation should the government invest more money on has trigged[wrong spelling] a head[wrong spelling] discussion. Many think that it is necessary for the government to construct more high-speed rails. They can improve commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance the connections between cities. However, others think that current public transportation can serve more cities[Punctuation error] especially for the local people.[Verbose]

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to emphasize on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from the[Article error] city centers [Non-British spelling]because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road.

    In addition, the [Article error] commuters also do not need to worry about the[Article error] traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they suffer from many dangerous factors. They also need to concentrate on driving speed, traffic light and prevent other cars from causing problems.road[grammatical error] condition. However, due to the fast trains, the commuters leave the drive to professionals, allowing them to go to work or study safely.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains is not a short-term profit. It is expensive and is not beneficial for a large scale of citizens. Therefore, it is better for the government to put more efforts and revenue to improve and update the current public transportation.[Verbose] For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to more areas in the cities. It can also improve the locomotive management and environment of metro or bus stations. As a result, it is an effective way to encourage more people to take public transportation. This is a flow-on effecteffect[Repetition], since the fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be. Furthermore, improving the conditions of highway, buses and subways is also a practical method to mitigate traffic congestions.[Verbose]

    In conclusion, I think in [Article error] metropolis, the government should spend equal revenue on the fast rails and public transportation.[Verbose] However, in small cities, it is better for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation. Public transport is the main issue that affects more citizens because it serves more people.

    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay. Thank you!

     

    Cassie1990
    University: Ji Lin University
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 28, 2019 at 1:20 am

    Due to rapid urbanization, transportation has closely related to people’s daily life. Many think that it is necessary for the government to construct more high-speed rails. They can improve commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance connections between cities. However, others think that current public transportation can serve more local citizens.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to emphasize on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centers because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents.If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to concentrate on driving speed, traffic light and prevent other cars from causing traffic problems.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains is not a short-term profit. It is expensive and not beneficial for a large scale of citizens. Therefore, it is better for the government to put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of current public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to suburb areas in the cities. It can also improve the locomotive management and environment of metro or bus stations. As a result, it is an practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. This is a flow-on effect, since the fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

    In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should spend equal investment on the fast rails and public transportation. However, it is reasonable for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation. Public transport is the main issue that affects more citizens because it serves more people.

    June 28, 2019 at 3:20 am

    Score: 56.7

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Problems Highlight

    Due to rapid urbanization, transportation has closely related to[grammatical error] people’s daily life. [Lack of coordinating adverbs] Many think that it is necessary for the government to construct more high-speed rails. They[Unclear pronoun] can improve commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance connections between cities. However, others think that current public transportation can serve more local citizens.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to emphasize on [grammatical error] building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centers [Non-British spelling] because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to concentrate on speed,[punctuation error] traffic light and prevent other cars from causing traffic problems.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains is not a short-term profit[logical confusion]. It[Unclear pronoun] is expensive and not beneficial for a large scale[wrong word] of citizens. Therefore, it[Too many sentences start with IT] is better for the government to put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of current public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to suburb areas in the cities. It can also improve the locomotive management and environment of metro or bus stations[Verbose and confusing]. As a result, it is an[Article error] practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. This[Unclear pronoun] is a flow-on effect, since the fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

    In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should spend equal investment on the fast rails and public transportation. However, it is reasonable for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation. Public transport is the main issue that affects more citizens because it serves more people.

    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision.  Regards.

    Cassie1990
    University: Ji Lin University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 3, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Due to rapid urbanization, transportation is closely related to people’s daily life. In order to build  convenient transportation systems, many think that it is necessary for the government to construct numerous high-speed rails. Fast trains can enhance commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance connections between cities. However, others think improving current public transportation is more important since it can serve more local citizens.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to put emphasis on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centres because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they do not need to fully concentrate on their driving speed and wait for traffic lights.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains does not have short-term outcomes. Fast trains are expensive and not beneficial for large scale of citizens. Therefore, the government should put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of current public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to suburb areas in the cities. It can also manage to build pleasant and comfortable environment for passengers. As a result, it is a practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. The fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

    In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should spend equal investment on the fast rails and public transportation. However, it is also reasonable for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation, especially in small cities.

    Cassie1990
    University: Ji Lin University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 3, 2019 at 8:39 am

    Due to rapid urbanization, transportation is closely related to people’s daily life. In order to build  convenient transportation systems, many think that it is necessary for the government to construct numerous high-speed rails. Fast trains can enhance commuters’ travel efficiency and enhance connections between cities. However, others think improving current public transportation is more important since it can serve more local citizens.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to put emphasis on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centres because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to fully concentrate on their driving speed,wait for traffic lights and prevent traffic accidents.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains does not have short-term outcomes. Fast trains are expensive and not beneficial for large scale of citizens. Therefore, the government should put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of current public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to suburb areas in the cities. It can also manage to build pleasant and comfortable environment for passengers. As a result, it is a practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. The fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

    In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should spend equal investment on the fast rails and public transportation. However, it is also reasonable for the authorities to invest more money on existing public transportation, especially in small cities.

    July 9, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    Score: 54.6

    Will come back with the final edit soon.

    July 10, 2019 at 2:08 am

    Due to rapid urbanisation urbanization, transportation is closely related to people’s daily lives life. In order to build convenient transportation systems, many think that it is necessary for the government to construct numerous high-speed railways rails. Fast trains can enhance commuters’ travel efficiency and improve/facilitate enhance connections between cities. However, others think improving current public transportation is more important since it can serve more local citizens.

    On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to put emphasis on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centres because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to fully concentrate on their driving speed, wait for traffic lights and prevent traffic accidents.

    On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high- speed trains does not have short-term outcomes/advantages/benefits. Fast trains are expensive and not beneficial for large usage by scale of citizens. Therefore, the government should put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of current/preexisting public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes spawning to suburban areas in outside of the cities. It can also manage to build a pleasant and comfortable environment for passengers. As a result, it is a practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. The fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

    In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should invest equally in spend equal investment on the fast rail system rails and public transportation. However, it is also reasonable for the authorities to invest more money on/into existing public transportation, especially in small cities.