In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

  • Nicolexxxx
    University: 重庆大学
    Nationality: 中国
    July 15, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

    With an advent of new transportation,the fund usage of constructions has become hot topic. Some people argue that the money should be put in establishing newly advanced trains,while others thinks that it is more important to improve old transport system.

    It is reasonable to build up new railways allowed faster trains to run because of the modern freight requirements. Nowadays people is used to buying things online as well as purchasing goods in foreign regions. Only state-of-the-art transportations which are faster and safer can match this demand. Furthermore, there are many supporting systems along with railways such as fire-alarm systems and intelligent operating systems needing to be updated.

    On the other hand, removement or demolition of existing public transport requires a large amount of money while construction may need more. But it’s much cheaper to improve now available railways rather than rebuild. Besides, not all equipments need to be transferred to a new one. Sometimes the function between old and new appliances has no remarkable differences thus it’s not economical to change them entirely.

    Constructing new railway lines can increase the speed of freight and make the trades more efficiently, though they may cost a lot more. Reforming the old systems can save money but may not satisfy consumer’s needs for express delivery.

    July 18, 2020 at 3:04 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Rewrite the first paragraph using your own words.
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.
    3. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    4. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.