Nowadays it is not important for people to have regularly family meals together.

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  • Yujing
    University: CUPL
    Nationality: Chinese
    February 20, 2020 at 3:42 am

    Nowadays it is not important for people to have regularly family meals together.

    Diet, has been paid more and more attention and even trigger a heated discussion over whether having family meals is important. Having meals in home with families, in some people’s view, is not necessary. Contrary to these people’s opinions is my perspective that having regular family meals together is important, due to the contributions to people’s health and interpersonal relationship.

    What must be prioritized is that having meals with families, instead of having meals alone outside is beneficial to health, which includes physical health and mental health. To begin with, what we cannot ignore is that having family regular meals together has advantages to physical fitness. In detail, at home, people can eat fresh vegetables at first time, well-washed food and full-scale nutrition.  Moreover, never can we ignore the significance of having family meals to people’s mental health. To explain it further, by having regular family meals together, people can memorize pleasant past like the kids’ childhood, travel experience and parents’ wedding, which let people forget the annoyance in work and daily life.

    What should be equally worth discussion is that having regular family meals together, can promote the interpersonal relationship, by giving information and assist to each other. Initially, it is by having regular family meals together that people can exchange information with families. Specifically, only by having meals at home will people chat with families for many topics, such as recent physical state, children’s performance in schools and adults’ promotion situations, for which they can short the distance among them. Additionally, when having meals with families, people can increase the relationship. To be more specific, people discuss the difficulty and families can find out some solutions, then they can choose the most effective one to settle the problem.

    Health, the foundation of the people’s life and work, can be attained from eating with families regularly. Interpersonal relationship, an essential condition to the development of people, can be promoted by having regular family meals together. To conclude, only by having regular family meals together, can people reap numerous benefits.

    February 20, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    Score: 44.2

    Issues:

    1. More than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. The optimal length of a TOEFL essay is 280-320 words. Shorten your essay to 320 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.