Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.
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April 14, 2020 at 8:50 am
Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.
For modern workers, whether they should give priority to job satisfaction or job security is a controversial topic. In my view, I agree that we should work for pleasure, instead of taking permanent work as a way to gain security.
First of all, it is obvious that only doing jobs that you are interested in can bring you real happiness. It has been said that,’ Interest is the best teacher’. More specifically, if you are satisfied with your job, it is easier for you to brave new challenges and peak your curiosity to dig into this field. To illustrate, considering Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, if they were someone who preferred permanent jobs, they could not have achieved huge success in promoting computers and mobile phones.
However, many people argue that it is quite difficult to find jobs related to their interests, especially for females and those who are in middle age. For most women, they may have natural drawbacks, as they need maternity leave and have to pay more attention to their families. What we should do is not discriminate against them, but provide help. On the other hand, others make a convincing argument that as middle-aged employees perform less creativity than younger counterparts, permanent positions should be their preference. This is a wrong idea. While such people may not be as energetic as the young, they have abundant experience and the ability to pool in human resources. No one should give up job satisfaction due to shortsighted focus on their weakness.
In a nutshell, while we should respect someone’s preference to job security, the optimistic job ethic which should be spread all over is working for job satisfaction. Only in this way, can we ensure everyone enjoys their job and creates greater value.
Score: 63.5
Issues:
- More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
April 14, 2020 at 3:44 pmFor modern workers, whether they should give priority to job satisfaction or job security is a controversial topic. In my view, I agree that we should work for pleasure, instead of taking permanent work as a way to gain sefety.
First of all, it is well accepted that only doing jobs you like can bring you real happiness. As the saying goes, Interest is the best teacher. More specifically, if you work for satisfaction, it is easier for you to brave new challenges and inspire your curiosity to dig into this field. To illustrate, considering Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, if they were someone who preferred permanent jobs, they could not have achieved great success in promoting computers and mobile phones.
However, many people argue that it is hard to find jobs related to their interests, especially for females and those who are in middle age. For most women, they may have natural drawbacks, as they need maternity leave and have to pay more attention to their families. What we should do is not discriminate against them, but provide help. On the other hand, others make a convincing argument that as middle-aged employees perform less creativity than younger counterparts, permanent positions suit them better. While such people may not be as energetic as the young, they have abundant experience and the ability to pool in human resources. No one should give up job satisfaction due to shortsighted focus on their weakness.
In a nutshell, while we should respect someone’s preference for job security, the positive job ethic which should be widely promoted is working for job satisfaction. Only in this way, can we ensure everyone enjoys their job and creates greater value.
Score: 61.7
Issues:
- About 20% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
April 16, 2020 at 3:21 pmFor modern workers, whether they should give priority to job satisfaction or job security is a controversial topic. In my view, I agree that we should work for pleasure, instead of taking permanent work as a way to gain security.
First of all, it is obvious that doing jobs that you truly like can bring you real happiness. As the saying goes, ‘Interest is the best teacher.’ More specifically, if you enjoy your job, it is easier for you to brave new challenges. To illustrate, considering Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, if they were someone who preferred permanent jobs, they could not have achieved great success.
However, many people argue that it is quite difficult to find jobs related to their interests, especially for females and those who are in middle age. For most women, they may have natural drawbacks, as they need maternity leave and have to pay more attention to their families. What we should do is not discriminate against them, but provide help. On the other hand, others make a convincing argument that as middle-aged employees perform less creativity, permanent positions should be their preference. This is a wrong idea. While such people may not be as energetic as the young, they have abundant experience. No one should give up job satisfaction due to shortsighted focus on their weakness.
In a nutshell, while we should respect someone’s preference to job security, the optimistic job ethic is working for job satisfaction. Only in this way, can we ensure everyone enjoys their job and creates greater value.
Score: 65.3
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of all,it is obvious thatdoing jobs thatyouwe truly like can bringyouus real happiness.As the saying goes,‘Interest is the best teacher.,’ as the saying goes.More sSpecifically, if you {don’t shift person} enjoy your job, it is easier for you tobravetackle new challenges. To illustrate, considering Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, if they were someone who preferred permanent jobs, they could not have achieved great success. [ of the topic/you should use the examples to explain how the two persons address challenges ]However, many people argue that it is quite difficult to find jobs related to their interests, especially for females and those who are in middle age. For most women, they may have natural drawbacks, as they need maternity leave and have to pay more attention to their families. What we should do is not discriminate against them, but provide help. On the other hand, others make a convincing argument that as middle-aged employees perform less creativity, permanent positions should be their preference. This is a wrong idea. While such people may not be as energetic as the young, they have abundant experience. No one should give up job satisfaction due to shortsighted focus on their weakness.
In a nutshell, while we should respect someone’s preference to job security, the optimistic job ethic is working for job satisfaction. Only in this way, can we ensure everyone enjoys their job and creates greater value.
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