Nowadays, more and more jobs and tasks are done by machines which involve hard physical work. Do the positive effects of this trend outweigh the negative effects?

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
2. Extensive grammatical errors.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Since the industry revolutionn[ Industrial Revolution ], machines have been starting replacing humans in the workplace. Nowadays, people increasingly rely on machines to deal with [ perform ]hard physical works[ work ]. I think the benefits of this trend could [/would  ]outweigh the[its{logically more coherent}  ] drawbacks.

One of the positive effects of the [wide application of  ]machines is to increase production efficiency[, which in turn would allow  ] so that consumers would [ to ]enjoy sufficient resources[ goods/products]. [On the other hand, people  ]People deal with [ complete ]hard physical works[work/tasks  ] slowly because they tend to get exhausted. [Since humans  ]Humans must rest and relax from time to time[ , ] so that the lack of efficiency is inevitable. However, an automated production line can keep working from day to night without pausing. Thus, the work that takes people a month might be finished in [ within ten ]10 days by machines. With the astonishing efficiency of machines, the production rate might treble that of the human-dominated production line. Naturally, [Consequently,  ]consumers would enjoy[be able to buy  ] more products in a limited period[at a lower price  ].

Aside from the [ In addition to ]high efficiency, machines could liberate workers from hard physical works[ work ] so that they could enjoy more me-time. In the past, workers tended to be exhausted after suffering a lot from physical works[ work ]. Thus, they wanted to do nothing except to have a good rest after work. Nowadays, with the help of machines, workers just touch several buttons to finish the physic-demanding works[ tasks ]. Thus, they always find themselves energetic after a day of working. Then, they could spare some time for their hobbies such as jogging, singing, drawing, etc. The leisure time saved for themselves benefits workers’ mental and physical health.

To sum up, replacing humans with machines to finish[conduct /undertake/perform ] manual labor is [a   ]huge progress in society. Consumers and workers all benefit from this trend. Thus, I think the benefits of this trend could outweigh the drawbacks[repetition  ].