Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. 

  • SusieChen
    University: Northeast Normal University
    Nationality: China
    January 11, 2021 at 3:51 am

    Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. 

    People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe that economic progress is the most significant, I think progress in other aspects is also crucial for a country.

    On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance. Because no matter which aspect of development you consider, there should be enough finance to support it. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways, skyscrapers and so on, all need a great amount of money to achieve. Secondly, army maintenance and weapon manufacture, which are two leading factors to guarantee the country’s safety, also need fundamental financial support. Thirdly, the improvement of people’s life quality, to a large extent, depends on the country’s economic development. For example, the nowadays Chinese economy has advanced, the government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of medical expenses, so people have no financial pressure on health care, and this would surely lead to a better life.

    On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Firstly, in the aspect of education: brilliant people play a key role in the country’s development, so the quality of education should be improved. Secondly, in terms of technology and science: they are the propeller of a country’s development, so it is catastrophic to fall behind in these areas. Thirdly, with regard to the environment: all human development is closely related to nature, protecting the environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has a tremendous impact on people’s life and development: the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, the quality of air has declined.

    In conclusion, while the economy takes a major part in the country’s development, I believe other types of progress should also be taken seriously.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 11, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    Score: 49.6

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Many sentences are unclear.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SusieChen
    University: Northeast Normal University
    Nationality: China
    January 12, 2021 at 9:14 am

    People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe that economic progress is the most significant, I think progress in other aspects is also crucial for a country.

    On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance. Developments in any other aspects require enough finance to support. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, to guarantee the country’s safety, tremendous money is needed to maintain army and manufacture weapons. Thirdly, the quality of people’s life will be improved greatly, with the country’s economy development. For example, Chinese economy has advanced these days, and government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of medical expense. People’s health condition has become better because they have no financial pressure on health care.

    On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Strat with education, brilliant people play an important role in the country’s development, so improving the quality of education is necessary. Also, technology and science which are propellers to push the country forward, call for more attention. At the same time, all human’s development is closely related to the nature, protecting environment could lead to a sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has enormous impact on people’s life and development: yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, the quality of air has declined.

    In conclusion, while economy is a major factor for the country’s development, I believe other types of progress should also be taken seriously.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 12, 2021 at 7:15 pm

    Score: 50.1

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SusieChen
    University: Northeast Normal University
    Nationality: China
    January 13, 2021 at 1:49 am

    People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe that economic progress is the most significant, I think progress in other aspects is also crucial for a country.

    On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance. Developments in any other aspect require enough finance to support. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, maintaining the army and manufacturing weapons cost tremendous money, to guarantee the country’s safety. Thirdly, the country’s economic development will have an immense influence on people’s life. For example, the Chinese economy has advanced these days, and the government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of medical expenses. People’s health condition has become better because they have no financial pressure on health care.

    On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Start with education, brilliant people play an important role in the country’s development, so improving education quality is necessary. Also, technology and science, which are propellers to push the country forward, call for more attention. At the same time, all human development is closely related to the nature, protecting environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has an enormous impact on people’s life and development: the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, and the quality of air has declined.

    In conclusion, while the economy is a major factor for the country’s development, I believe the government should also take other types of progress seriously.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 13, 2021 at 9:23 pm

    People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe [/argue  ] that economic progress [ repetition ] (is the most significant)[ use verb phrase to replace BE phrase ] , I think progress[ repetition ] in other aspects is also crucial for a country[repetiton  ] .

    On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance[ logically incomplete ] . [missing a transitory word  ] Developments[word form error  ] in any other aspect require (enough finance)[unclear  ] to support. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, maintaining the[ article error ] army and manufacturing weapons cost tremendous[wrong word  ] money,[ punctuation error ] to guarantee the country’s safety. Thirdly, the[article error  ] country’s economic development will (have an immense influence on people’s life)[unclear  ] . For example, the Chinese economy has advanced these days[wrong word  ] , [ logical disconnection ] and the government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of [ article error ] medical expenses[unclear  ] . [ missing transition ] People’s health condition has become better because they have no financial pressure on health care.

    On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Start with education,[ punctuation error ] brilliant people (play an important role in)[wordy/use one verb  ] the[ article error ] country’s development, so improving education[ word form error ] quality is necessary. Also, technology and science, which are propellers to (push the country forward)[unclear  ] , call for more attention. At the same time, all (human development)[unclear  ] is closely related to the[article error  ] nature, protecting [ article error ] environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has[grammatical error  ] an enormous impact on people’s life and development[ unclear ] : the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, and the quality of air has declined.

    In conclusion, while the economy is a major factor for the [article error  ] country’s development, I believe the [article error  ] government should also take[ wrong word ] other types of progress seriously.

    SusieChen
    University: Northeast Normal University
    Nationality: China
    January 15, 2021 at 12:40 pm

    People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people argue that economic progress is the most significant, I believe progress in other aspects is also crucial for a country.

    On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance because developments in any other aspect require enough finance to support. Firstly, the constructions of roads, railways, and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, maintaining armies and manufacturing weapons to guarantee the country’s safety, also cost substantial money. Thirdly, the country’s economic development; will have an immense influence on people’s life. For example, the Chinese economy has advanced nowadays, and the government is capable of covering a great proportion of medical expenses. For this reason, people have no financial pressure on health care and their health condition has become better.

    On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Start with education, it is necessary to improve education quality to cultivate more brilliant people participating in the country’s development. Also, technology and science, which are the driving force of national progress, call for more attention. At the same time, all human development process is closely related to nature, protecting the environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate changes have enormous negative impacts on people’s life and get in the way of people’s progress: the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, and the quality of air has declined.

    In conclusion, while the economy is a major factor for the country’s development, I believe the government should also take other types of progress seriously.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 15, 2021 at 8:43 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. lots of word repetitions. 
    3. Lots of dull BE VERBS. Replace them with concrete verbs.
    4. Extensive punctuation errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.