Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years

  • Baggio_Wang
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: Chinese
    August 7, 2020 at 2:03 am

    Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

    Nowadays, more and more high street shops and supermarkets have disappeared in these years. In my opinion, this phenomenon is mainly cost by the rising of e-commerce. In this essay, I will discuss the reason and the consequences of this situation.

    From my perspective, high street shops are disappearing due to competition from online shopping websites, which are generally faster, cheaper, and convenient. Web-based stores allow customers to search for the best deals, make purchases from their comfortable homes, and receive delivery of their purchased products in several days. Furthermore, it is impossible for traditional brick-and-mortar stores to compete with the range of choices that could be found online. For example, last week I had bought a fairly rare academic textbook online. It is impossible to imagine local bookstores could have this book. As a normal customer, the fact I could find any products online makes it is pointless to have a trip to my local high street shops.

    Besides these advantages, there are also some significant drawbacks to this trend. As the disappearing of bricks-and-mortar stores, unemployment is rising as well. At the same time, cities will lose their special characters when most colorful shops were disappearing. Citizens will also lose perfect social places to contact their friends and colleagues. More seriously, loss of community as high streets become deserted.

    In conclusion, although there are indeed some benefits of replacing traditional high street shops with online shopping websites. In my opinion, the negative impact of this trend should not be ignored.

     

    August 7, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Word choice errors
    2. Verb tense errors
    3. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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