Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

  • Bruce
    University: High School
    Nationality: China
    April 24, 2021 at 6:48 am

    Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

    There are many old buildings saved until now in the river of long history, and they are protected by law. We are doing this because most old buildings are important milestones of history and we do not want people to doubt the factily of history. This essay will discuss why we keep the old things but not make them new.

    First of all, the main reason we keep the old building until now is that it has been witness to important things that change a lot in history. Humans can not have such a long life but  the symbolism is a reminder people remember this period. For example the great wall, it is the useless building for modern society, however, it witnesses several dynasty generations and somethings it also could be a landmark for a country.

    Furthermore, now we can not see most animals that were endangered in 1880, because our predecessors did not protect well. The reason why we would protect those old buildings is quite similar to those endangered animals, we do not want to see our next generation to suspect are those really being in history? We want humans from the future also to see the proof of history, not just for development progress and keep doing some sacrifice.

    In brief, we are protecting the important legacies. This essay discusses important old buildings and the reason why we keep them. It can not compare with the development of humans, either two are both important but we want to keep them all.

    April 24, 2021 at 2:36 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.