Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities. Why has this happened?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities. Why has this happened?

  • catherine wang
    University: qinghua
    Nationality: china
    August 5, 2020 at 8:51 am

    Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities. Why has this happened? To what extent do you think it is a good trend?

     

    It seemed to be a trend that many rural people choose to live in big cities.Although living in the urban area brings people more benefits.it also caused many social problems.And the reasons behind this penomenon are multiple .

    From my knowledage,I think the first reason is that people living in the big cities are able to require more security for life.This is becaues there are many policies imposed by government,which can help cities to live greatly.such as medical insurence ,educational fund.For example ,if a person have sufferred an accident,government can afford a large part of medical expenses.It is a good thing that never happened in the rural.

    Salary is another reason which led to this phenomenon.What I mean is that you have an opportunity to secure a high- paying job when you live in urban.For example,people having high salary can easy access to where they want to go and buy what they really like,such as new electronic devices ,favorite cosmetics or something like that.But in rural area,especially in China,it is extremely difficult for some people even to meet ends up.

    Although I admit that this trend brings more advantages in some angles as I mentioned above.but what I think is that we shoudn’t ignore the drawbacks as well.After all,this trend caused city overcrowded and brought a large quantities of pressure for these “past rural people”.For the former,if more and more rural people choose city to settle down,it is increasingly competive in resources and buildings market.Therefore,government maybe impose higher taxes on these areas. For the latter,there is no doubt that person living in the big city have more pressure to endore.it maybe increase the number of people suffering from psycological issues.

    To summarise,good quality of life and high paying jobs are main reason caused this trend.And i don’t agree that it is a good trand compelely.What’s more, we do should  to pay more attention to its shortages.

    August 6, 2020 at 4:33 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Spacing errors – include a space after periods and commas
    2. Article errors
    3. Spelling errors
    4. Make your argument clear in the introduction
    5. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    6. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    catherine wang
    University: qinghua
    Nationality: china
    August 7, 2020 at 3:19 am

    It seemed to be a trend that many rural people choose to live in big cities.Although living in the urban area brings people more benefits,it also caused many social problems.And the reasons behind this phenomenon are multiple .

    From my knowledage, I think the first reason is that people living in big cities are able to require more security for life. This is because there are many policies imposed by government,which can help cities to live better. such as medical insurence ,educational protection. For example, if a person have sufferred from accident, government can afford a large part of medical expenses.It is a good thing that never happened in the rural area.

    Salary is another reason which led to this phenomenon. What I mean is that you have an opportunity to secure a high- paying job when you live in urban.For example, people having high salary can easy access to where they want to go and buy what they really like, such as new electronic devices ,favorite cosmetics or something like that. But in rural area,especially in China, it is extremely difficult for some people even to meet ends up.

    Although I admit that this trend brings more advantages in some angles as I mentioned above. but what I think is that we shoudn’t ignore the drawbacks as well. After all, this trend caused cityies overcrowded and brought a large quantities of pressure for these “past rural people”. For the former,if more and more rural people choose cities to settle down, it is increasingly competive in resources and buildings market. Therefore, government maybe impose higher taxes on these areas. For the latter, there is no doubt that person living in the big city have more pressure to endore. it maybe increase the number of people suffering from psycological issues.

    To summarise, good quality of life and high paying jobs are main reason caused this trend. And i don’t agree that it is a good trand compelely. What’s more, we do should pay more attention to its shortages.

    August 7, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    Score: 61.2

    Issues:

    1. Spacing errors – include a space after periods and commas (devices ,favorite) -> (devices, favorite)
    2. Capitalization errors
    3. Spelling errors – fix these and others (knowledage, psycological, compelely)
    4. Part of speech errors
    5. Make your argument clear in the introduction
    6. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    7. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.