Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

  • Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    October 31, 2020 at 1:19 pm

    Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

    Movies and televisions are popular amusement among young people. In my opinion, movies and televisions have positive impacts on youngsters and are able to prevent them from bad behaviors.

    To begin with, movies and television always talk about kind people who are glad to help others. The main characters in movies like superman or Spiderman generally have characteristics which young people can learn from. They are always prepared to help others and never ask any return. After watching these movies, young people tend to admire them and will develop a kind of view like helping others is the thing that’s worth to do. For example, Spiderman not only saves people from burning buildings, but also gives help to little girls who lost their cats. When youngsters face the same situation, they will know helping the girl is the right thing to do.

    Second, young people also can learn how to face with difficulties from diligent and ambitious persons in the movies. Although these characters may feel upset and stressful for accidental failures, instead of giving up, they tend to pay more efforts. In the end, the strong will helps them overcome every difficulty. One of my friends once failed in several exams and when he tried to give up, he watched a movie of a famous scientist who came from real life. In the movie, the scientist tried hundreds of times to find a certain chemical compound. My friend then realized that what he needed was the courage to challenge these exams again and he succeeded in the end.

    Third, the movies about criminals also prevent young people from doing bad things. The old style HongKong movies about criminal lives are very charming to youngsters. However, in the end of these movies, the main characters who devote themselves to the gangs all be caught by the police. In my high school life, my teacher always let us watch such videos. The naughty boys in my class are shocked by such scenario because now they knew behaviors they had thought cool and fashion actually would destroy their lives.

    November 2, 2020 at 4:27 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Support your argument in the introduction – why do you think movies are a good influence?
    4. Preposition errors

     

    November 2, 2020 at 9:14 pm

    Invalid [ Complete the revision of your first essay prior to submitting another.]