Natural resources such as oil, forests and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Natural resources such as oil, forests and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

  • 1015219599
    University: BeiJing University of Chemical Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 29, 2020 at 3:20 pm

    Natural resources such as oil, forests and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

    It is noticeable that natural resources have been consumed in an exorbitant way. This phenomenon will lead to a variety of problems, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problems.

    In my opinion, there are three main problems that the exorbitant consumption of natural resources may cause. First of all, resources available for the next generation will be stringent. The majority of resources spendable is non-renewable like oil and gas, owing to the technological limit. In addition, it will aggravate the land desertification some of the forests exploited require an enormous amount of time to recuperate. Besides, based on the finite water resource, the exorbitant exploitation of water resource will pose a threat to people’s living because it is one of the bare necessities for human being.

    The overconsumption problem can certainly be improved. I believe the change must start with substituting the non-renewable resources by renewable resources, such as solar resources, wind resources and so on. Also, the government should introduce policies to inhabit the exorbitant exploitation of forests. For example, the government ought to limit the maximum amount of forests exploited for each month. At the same time, mass medias should raise people’s awareness of the conception in terms of the economical utilization of water resource, which can be fulfilled by publicizing advertisements.

    In conclusion, the overconsumption problem will continue to threaten our everyday life unless we take good advantage of renewable resources, utilize the water resource in an economical way, and the government introduce potent policies.

    March 31, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    Score: 39.2

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.