Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

  • 20170213fl
    University: SIT
    Nationality: Chinese
    December 16, 2020 at 1:09 am

    Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    It is true that a lot of people are working for themselves, rather than being employed by a company or an organisation. There are several reasons for this situation, and there are also some drawbacks to self- employment

    There are a number of people who choose to be self-employed because it is pretty easy for an individual to set up a company at the moment. With the internet providing a global marketplace, self-employers can easily find their clients, and make the deal with very low costs, then get more profit. For example, there are many self-employed merchants on an internet platform called ‘TaoBao’ selling their products to customers, and the sellers do not need to pay rent for their shops, which cut down the spending of their costs and make more money. Besides, self-employment offers greater freedom than working for a company, which gives people more time to do the things they enjoy. What’s more, the people who work for themselves are free from dealing with their bosses and making their own decisions

    However, self-employment does have several deficiencies that will influence one’s life. Firstly, there are risks to starting a business, such as, failing to make a profit. Secondly, there is less stability in self- employment, and those self-employed people may face some financial difficulties. Thirdly, there are no benefits like pensions, sick pay or holiday pay; if those people fail to make a profit, they will have no money to spend. For instance, during this coronavirus pandemic and quarantine period, many private enterprises have been bankrupted, and a lot of people lost their homes.

    In conclusion, self-employment does have some attractive benefits, but it can make people’s lives more difficult as well.

    December 16, 2020 at 4:09 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Most of them are unnecessarily lengthy. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. In consideration of sentence coherence, the subject of a sentence better echoes the subject, or the object, of the prior sentence. The subject of a passive sentence, however, often fails to do so, which severely damages the logical flow between sentences.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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