Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

  • Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    April 8, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

    In order to inspire and foster their children’s interest in study, many parents motivate them by giving money as reward for each high grade. While some people hold the view that money cannot actually stimulate children’s enthusiasm, I think such approach is feasible.

    To begin with, it’s a proper way to offer high school students money when they get a good performance in school. Parents should give high school students money to buy things related to their hobby. However, students also need to be restricted in order to balance their study and play. To award them when they get a high grade is a proper solution. The teenagers will spend more time on their study since they want to buy new equipment.

    Secondly, to give teenagers money only after their arduous study can make them notice that one can only be paid for his diligent work. If parents give them money directly, they cannot build such awareness. During my high school study, I had a classmate who would buy everything he wanted without considering the utility. However, when he started to work, his habit to spend money without thinking make him get into a heavy debt. So, it’s important to cultivate children’ consciousness on the hardness to earn money when they are still in high school.

    Third, such approach is actually a good entry point to inspire students’ interest towards subjects. Since study is boring, parents cannot expect their children be engaged in it at the first time. However, if they are stimulated by reward and keep devoting themselves in certain subjects, they will gain a sense of achievement by solving the problem with the knowledge. My interest in programming is inspired in that way. At first time I also considered programming as dull and repetitive. After I handled some crucial skills through doing a project, programming becomes fun and enjoyable.

    April 8, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    April 9, 2020 at 3:59 am

    To foster their children’s interest in studies, many parents motivate them by giving money as rewards for each high grade. While some people hold the view that money cannot stimulate children’s enthusiasm, I think such an approach is feasible.

    To begin with, it’s proper to offer high school students money for their outstanding performance in school. High school students are hard to afford things related to their hobby without parents’ support. On the other hand, students also need restrictions to hold a balance between study and amusement. To award them when they get a high grade is a proper solution. Teenagers will spend more time on their school subjects since they want to buy new equipment.

    Secondly, after arduous learning, students will notice that diligent work is the right way to make money. Children cannot build such awareness if they receive pocket money from parents directly. During my high school study, I had a classmate who would buy everything he wanted without considering the utility. However, when he started to work, his habit of spending money without thinking make him get into a huge debt. So, it’s crucial to cultivate the children’ consciousness on the hardness to earn money when they are still in high school.

    Third, such an approach is a good entry point to inspire students’ interest in subjects. Since school courses are dull, parents cannot expect their children are engaged in courses initially. However, if they are stimulated by reward and keep devoting themselves to certain subjects, they will gain a sense of achievement by solving the problem with the knowledge. My interest in programming is developed in that way. At the first time I also considered programming as dull and repetitive. After I handled some crucial skills through doing a project, programming becomes fun and enjoyable.

    April 10, 2020 at 2:40 am

    Score: 66.3

    Issues:

    1. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    April 10, 2020 at 2:42 am

    To foster their children’s interest in studies, many parents motivate them [ unclear pronoun/could be either children or parents ] by giving money as rewards for each high grade. While some people (hold the view)[ wordy ] that money cannot stimulate children’s enthusiasm, I think such an approach is feasible.

    To begin with, it’s[ informal ] proper to offer high school students money for their outstanding performance in school[unclear/what kind of performance?  ]. High school students are hard to afford things related to their hobby without parents’ support[ unclear ]. On the other hand, students also need restrictions to hold a balance between study and amusement. To award them when they get a high grade is a proper solution. Teenagers will spend more time on their school subjects since they want to buy new equipment.

    Secondly, after arduous learning, students will notice that diligent work is the right way to make money. Children cannot build such awareness if they receive pocket money from parents directly. During my high school study, for instance, I had a classmate who would buy everything he wanted without considering the utility. However, when he started to work, his habit of spending money without thinking make [grammatical error  ]him get into a huge debt. So, it’s crucial to cultivate the[ article error ] children’ consciousness on the hardness to earn money when they are still in high school.

    Third, such an approach is a good entry point to inspire students’ interest in subjects[ unclear word ]. Since school courses are dull[absolute statement  ], parents cannot expect their children are engaged[grammatical error  ] in courses initially. However, if they are stimulated by[  grammatical error/subjunctive voice] reward and keep [grammatical error  ]devoting themselves to certain subjects, they will [ grammatical error ]gain a sense of achievement by solving the problem with the knowledge. My interest in programming is [tense error  ]developed in that way. At the first time I also considered programming as [ grammatical error ]dull and repetitive. After I had handled some crucial skills through doing a project, programming becomes/became fun and enjoyable.

     

    Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    April 12, 2020 at 4:06 am

    To foster their children’s interest in studies, many parents motivate children by giving money as rewards for each high grade. While some people argue that money cannot stimulate children’s enthusiasm, I think such an approach is feasible.

    To begin with, it is proper to offer high school students money for their outstanding performance in exams. High school students are hard to afford things related to their hobby without parents’ financial support. On the other hand, students also need restrictions to hold a balance between study and amusement. To award them when they get a high grade is a proper solution. Teenagers will spend more time on their school subjects since they want to buy new equipment.

    Secondly, after arduous learning, students will notice that diligent work is the right way to make money. Children cannot build such awareness if they receive pocket money from parents directly. During my high school study, for instance, I had a classmate who would buy everything he wanted without considering the utility. However, when he started to work, his habit of spending money without thinking made him get into a huge debt. So, it’s crucial to cultivate children’ consciousness on the hardness to earn money when they are still in high school.

    Third, such an approach is a good entry point to inspire students’ interest in school subjects like physics and science. Since most students think many school courses are dull, parents cannot expect their children to be engaged in courses initially. However, if they were stimulated by reward and kept devoting themselves to certain subjects, they would gain a sense of achievement by solving the problem with the knowledge. My interest in programming was developed in that way. At the first time I also considered programming as dull and repetitive work. After I had handled some crucial skills through doing a project, programming becomes/became fun and enjoyable.

    April 19, 2020 at 12:02 am

    Score: 64.3

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.