Some people think those oldest school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. Others, however, think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think those oldest school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. Others, however, think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail.

  • zhaoluochen
    University: 中国农业科学院
    Nationality: 中国
    January 27, 2021 at 3:51 am

    Some people think those oldest school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. Others, however, think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Education is always a concerning topic in parents and educators. Some of them believe that children should master a wide range of skills and knowledge, which is benefit their future. However, many others think that kids should just learn some specific subjects in details.

    For some parents and teachers, they believe learning a wide range of knowledge have some vital important factors for their future. It means when children receive more education and learn a host of subjects they can have a strong communication ability. They can have a such skill that when they meet different people from all walks of life they also have similar topic to talk with them, which all depend on their knowledge which they acquired from various course book. Also, it a good way to enhance their ability to cope with different problem which they encounter in various situation. Such they learned from class that teach them how to make new friend with others, it is those social skills and rules can make them avoiding some embarrassing situation when they want to meet a new friend.

    However, some people think that it is necessary for children to learn more subjects, and they just need to focus on some important subjects, such as mathematics, language, biology, chemistry and physics. It is true that children need to learn those subjects in detail. Learning less subjects means they have more time to learn them and it can improve their efficiency and productivity with regard to those subjects in this way that they can truly master skill and knowledge they learn. Moreover, for those children who want to do research, it is not to enforce them to acquire various knowledge. The reason is that learning such art and music subject it is not helpful for their academic ability.

    In my opinion, I think children should learn a wide range of subjects but it does not mean they should learn every subject in detail. They should put their energy into other more significant subjects and learn them in deepth.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 28, 2021 at 3:07 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zhaoluochen
    University: 中国农业科学院
    Nationality: 中国
    January 28, 2021 at 9:34 am

    Education is always a concerning topic for parents and educators. Some believe that children should master a wide range of skills and knowledge, which are benefit their future. However, many others think that kids should t learn some specific subjects in detail.

    Some parents and teachers, they believe learning a wide range of knowledge play an important role in children future. It means that when children receive more education and study a host of skills, they can have a strong communication ability. They can have a skill that when they are meeting different people from all walks of life they also have related topics to talk with them. This ability all depends on their knowledge which they acquired from the various coursebook. Also, it a good way to enhance their ability to cope with different problems which they might encounter in various situations. skills they learned from textbooks can teach them how to make new friends with others. it is these social skills and rules can make them avoiding some embarrassing situation when they want to meet a new friend.

    However, some people think it is necessary for children must learn more subjects. they believe children should only focus on some important subjects, such as mathematics, language, biology, chemistry or physics. children indeed need to learn those subjects in detail. Learning a small number of subjects means they have more time to learn what they like and it can improve their efficiency and productivity concerning those subjects in this way that they can truly master skills and knowledge they learn. Moreover, for those children who want to do research, it is not to improve the ability to study various knowledge. The reason is that learning such art and music subject it is not helpful for their academic ability.

    In my opinion, children should learn a wide range of subjects but it does not mean they should learn every subject in detail. They can study art and music in casual but they should put their energy into other more significant subjects like mathematics, language and physics and so forth, while for art and music they need to learn but they should not spend more energy in those.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 28, 2021 at 5:46 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Extensive grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zhaoluochen
    University: 中国农业科学院
    Nationality: 中国
    January 29, 2021 at 3:14 am

    Education is always a significant topic for parents and educators. Some believe that children should master a wide range of skills and knowledge, which are beneficial for their future. However, many others think that kids should only learn some specific subjects in detail.

    Some parents and teachers believe learning a wide range of knowledge plays a vital role in children’s future. It means that those skills and abilities they received at school can boost their social skills, allowing them to have a strong communication way and helping them have more confidence to talk with different people from all walks of life. This ability depends on their knowledge that they acquired from the various coursebook. It is also can enhance their capability to cope with different problems when they talking to others. Skills they learned from textbooks can teach them how to make new friends with others. These social skills and rules can make them avoid some embarrassing situations when they want to meet a new friend.

    However, some people think it is necessary for children must learn more subjects. They believe children should only focus on some important subjects, such as mathematics, language, biology, chemistry and physics. Children indeed need to learn those subjects in detail, because learning a small number of subjects means they have more time to learn what they like. In this way that can improve their efficiency and productivity. Moreover, for those children who want to do be a researcher, they should have right to choose what subject they want to explore while not be enforced to learn various subjects which do not benefit for their academic achievement.

    Overall, it seems advisable that children should learn a wide range of subjects, but it does not mean they should learn every subject in detail. For some core curriculum, such as mathematics, language and physics, they should be studied in depth. While other subjects should be listed as an option in children’s schedule.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 29, 2021 at 7:24 pm

    Education[ unclear, whose education? ] is always a (significant topic)[unclear  ] for parents and educators. (Some believe that children should master a wide range of skills and knowledge, which are beneficial for their future. However, many others think that kids should only learn some specific subjects in detail)[ write in a way to differentiate from the prompt ] .

    Some [ repetition ] (parents and teachers believe learning a wide range of knowledge)[ repetition ] (plays a vital role)[ wordy ] in children’s future[unclear  ] . It[ unclear pronoun ] means that those[ ? ] skills and abilities they received[tense error  ] at school can boost their social skills[unclear  ] , allowing them to have a strong communication way and helping them have more confidence to talk with different people from all walks of life. This ability depends on their knowledge that they acquired from the various coursebook. It is also can enhance their capability to cope with different problems when they talking to others. Skills they learned from textbooks can teach them how to make new friends with others. These social skills and rules can make them avoid some embarrassing situations when they want to meet a new friend.

    However, some people think it is necessary for children must learn more subjects. They believe children should only focus on some important subjects, such as mathematics, language, biology, chemistry and physics. Children indeed need to learn those subjects in detail, because learning a small number of subjects means they have more time to learn what they like. In this way that can improve their efficiency and productivity. Moreover, for those children who want to do be a researcher, they should have right to choose what subject they want to explore while not be enforced to learn various subjects which do not benefit for their academic achievement.

    Overall, it seems advisable that children should learn a wide range of subjects, but it does not mean they should learn every subject in detail. For some core curriculum, such as mathematics, language and physics, they should be studied in depth. While other subjects should be listed as an option in children’s schedule.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 29, 2021 at 7:29 pm

    Partial revision. All sentences are unclear.

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