“On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing “On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council

  • Isabella
    University: Ohio State University
    Nationality: China
    August 22, 2021 at 1:18 pm

    “On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council.

    The editor recommends that on Balmer island, an area where mopeds are a popular mean of transportation, should be restricted during the summer time by limiting the number of mopes rented by the local moped rental companies to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. To support the assertion, the editor cites the reduction of the accidents caused by moped on the neighboring island of Seaville, who limited the renal of mopeds last year. Through closer examination, however, one can find that the editor’s recommendation is not defensible.

    To begin with, the editor asserts that once the number of the mopeds is decreased, the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians would also experience a decline. However, it is highly possible that the main reasons of the accidents are not caused by mopeds themselves. For example, mopeds drivers and pedestrians can probably be persons who do not strictly obey the traffic rules. Also, the traffic rules could have flaws which can increase the frequency of accidents. Therefore, the editor should answer the question that what are the main cause of the accidents that happen on Balmer Island. Otherwise, the recommendation could be tenuous since reducing mopeds do not necessarily lead to a declining of accidents.

    In addition, the editor’s recommendation is based on an assumption that the island of Seaville had employed the only measure, which was to reduce the available mopeds, to reduce the accidents. However, it is likely that the reduction of accidents on Seaville island was because of some other strategies. For example, the island probably issued more stringent traffic law, which made people more careful when they drive mopeds or cross the road. Therefore, the editor must answer the question that if the Seaville island did not implement any other measures to reduce the accidents, or the recommendation would not be defensible.

    Finally, the editor assumes that by limiting the number of mopeds rented by the current moped rental companies, the available mopeds would be absolutely drop. It is likely that this is simply not the case. The editor does not rule out the possibility that the number of moped rental companies can probably increase. If there are more companies providing moped rental services, the total number of mopeds rented to residents would not necessarily be reduced. Thus, the editor should answer the question that if the government also limit new moped rental companies to enter the market.

    In conclusion, the editor’s recommendation would not be tenable without answering the following questions: (1) if the main reason of accidents involving pedestrians and mopeds on Balmer island is caused by moped; (2) if the island of Seaville do not employ any other measures except for limiting the number of rental mopeds, and (3) if the government on Balmer island also ban the new registered moped rental companies. Only when the three questions are answered, can I further examine the feasibility of the editor’s recommendation.

    August 27, 2021 at 12:29 pm

    The editor recommends that on (delete) Balmer island (delete), an area where mopeds are a popular mean(s) of transportation, should be restricted (verb form error) during the summer time (summer) by limiting the number of mopes (spelling error) rented by the local moped rental companies (companies can rent) to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. To support the assertion, the editor cites the reduction of the (delete) accidents caused by moped on the (delete) neighboring (spelling error) island of Seaville, who (pronoun error) limited the renal of mopeds (moped rentals) last year. Through closer examination, however, one can find that the editor’s recommendation is not defensible.

    To begin with, the editor asserts that once the number of the mopeds is decreased, the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians would also experience a decline. However, it is highly possible that the main reasons of the accidents are not caused by mopeds themselves. For example, mopeds drivers and pedestrians can probably be persons who do not strictly obey the traffic rules. Also, the traffic rules could have flaws which can increase the frequency of accidents. Therefore, the editor should answer the question that what are the main cause of the accidents that happen on Balmer Island. Otherwise, the recommendation could be tenuous since reducing mopeds do not necessarily lead to a declining of accidents.

    In addition, the editor’s recommendation is based on an assumption that the island of Seaville had employed the only measure, which was to reduce the available mopeds, to reduce the accidents. However, it is likely that the reduction of accidents on Seaville island was because of some other strategies. For example, the island probably issued more stringent traffic law, which made people more careful when they drive mopeds or cross the road. Therefore, the editor must answer the question that if the Seaville island did not implement any other measures to reduce the accidents, or the recommendation would not be defensible.

    Finally, the editor assumes that by limiting the number of mopeds rented by the current moped rental companies, the available mopeds would be absolutely drop. It is likely that this is simply not the case. The editor does not rule out the possibility that the number of moped rental companies can probably increase. If there are more companies providing moped rental services, the total number of mopeds rented to residents would not necessarily be reduced. Thus, the editor should answer the question that if the government also limit new moped rental companies to enter the market.

    In conclusion, the editor’s recommendation would not be tenable without answering the following questions: (1) if the main reason of accidents involving pedestrians and mopeds on Balmer island is caused by moped; (2) if the island of Seaville do not employ any other measures except for limiting the number of rental mopeds, and (3) if the government on Balmer island also ban the new registered moped rental companies. Only when the three questions are answered, can I further examine the feasibility of the editor’s recommendation.

    August 27, 2021 at 3:57 pm

    Partial Revision (simplify essay and fix similar issues to those provided in the feedback)