One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job

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  • Silas
    University: Southeast University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 13, 2020 at 4:48 am

    One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

    Thanks to the improvement of people’s living standards, it seems that teenage children no longer have to work while studying. As such, parents encourage them to give priority to their studies. However, the truth is that taking a part-time job still matters when it comes to preparation for adult life.

    First, few would deny that the physical challenge is a hard nut to crack in adult life. It always takes countless efforts to endure soul-destroying labor. To be specific, long hours of work sap adults’ reserves of energy, leaving them exhausted after work. However, it is not uncommon for teenage children to lie on the bed all day long during their summer vacation. Usually, this in turn results in their failure in the physical test next semester. How could children deal with the high-intensive work in adult life when they can’t even pass an easy running test? In this case, even jobs as stacking shelves in markets or working as attendants in restaurants help a lot. This is because at least these children have a basic idea of how tiring it may be. After all, the ultimate aim of a part-time job is to experience adult life instead of making money.

    Besides, it is no exaggeration to say that a part-time job can help children develop their personality. During this process, they can find out their vulnerable aspects as well as special talents. Take me as an example. I took a part-time job as an assistant in an educational institution. Since I was a bit shy, I mainly focused on correcting work. But when a student asked me about a mathematical problem, I found myself good at explaining and teaching. Gradually, I built up my confidence and found what I was good at. Thus, teenage children can shape their personalities based on their experience, which leads to better performance in adulthood.

    In conclusion, taking a part-time job is conducive to children’s preparation for future life. As such, it is advisable that parents encourage their children to gain such experiences to help them embrace a bright future.

    July 14, 2020 at 1:37 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    2. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    July 14, 2020 at 2:09 am

    One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

    Thanks to the improvement of people’s living standards, it seems that teenage children no longer have to work while studying. As such, parents encourage them [unclear pronoun  ] to give priority to their studies. However, the truth is that taking a part-time job still matters when it comes (to preparation for adult life)[ unclear ] .

    First, few would deny that the[article error  ] (physical challenge)[unclear  ] is (a hard nut to crack)[unclear/use literal writing  ] in adult life. (It always takes countless efforts to endure soul-destroying labor)[ unclear ] . To be specific, long hours of work sap adults’ reserves [ word form error ] of energy, leaving them exhausted after work. However, it is not uncommon for teenage children to lie on the bed all day long during their summer vacation. Usually, this in turn results in their failure in the physical [ PE ] test next semester. How could children (deal with)[wrong phrase/deal with means handle and resolve a problem  ] the [article error  ] high-intensive work in adult life when[ wrong word ] they can’t even pass an easy running test? In this case, (even jobs as stacking shelves)[ unclear ] in markets[word form error  ] or working as attendants[ word form error ] in restaurants help a lot. This is because at least these children have a basic idea of how tiring it[unclear pronoun  ] may be. After all, the ultimate aim of a part-time job is to experience adult life instead of making money.

    Besides, it is no exaggeration to say that a part-time job can help children develop their personality. During this process, they can find out their vulnerable aspects as well as special talents. Take me as an example. I took a part-time job as an assistant in an educational institution. Since I was a bit shy, I (mainly focused on)[ redundant ] (correcting work)[ unclear ] . But when a student asked me about a mathematical problem, I found myself good at explaining and teaching. Gradually, I built up my confidence and found what I was good at. Thus, teenage children can shape their personalities [word form error  ] based on their experience, which leads [absolute/use conditional writing  ] to better performance in adulthood.

    In conclusion, taking a part-time job is conducive to children’s preparation for future life. As such, it is advisable that parents encourage their children to gain such experiences to help them embrace a bright future.