Do you agree or disagree? Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree? Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently.

  • JINGLONG XU
    University: North China University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 28, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    The boy and the girl were encouraged to do their homework independent.

    TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree? Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently.

    Taking a glimpse of situation of children’s education, due to increasingly heavy class load, parents would like to help their children finish schoolwork. Tutoring homework, in many parents’ opinions, could enable their children to complete schools’ task early so as to make it possible for their children to reduce pressure. However, my perspective is that parents ought to stimulate their children study individually, which will bring with beneficial impact on children and their parents.

    Hardly can we neglect the significance of studying independently for children to being competitive in the future. Initially, children, by completing schoolwork on their own, will be independent and gain competitive edges in work fields in the future. To be specific, being independent not only enables children to endure hardships and difficulties but also inspires them to move on in the wake of failure. In addition, doing homework by themselves could foster favorable study habit, which will definitely enhance children study efficiency greatly. Just imagine, if a boy is accustomed to deal with a great deal of difficult problems in homework solely, that could exercise his brain and hands-on skills. So, the boy, with independent mind and abundant hands-on experience, will certainly be more effective in studying.

    What is equally worth discussing is that cultivating children to do schoolwork independently could reduce loads of parents. To be specific, parents could gain more time to focus on jobs and housework if children could finish their homework on their own. For one thing, facing with the competitive society, parents have to finish a great deal of work, which would make them burn out. When children could study individually, parents could devote more energy to work rather than spend hours on tutoring their children, creating an opportunity to reduce pressure of working. For another thing, not only do parents distribute a great deal of time to job, but they need to juggle housework. In detail, the more parents participate in children’s studying, the less time they spend on doing such housework as cooking, sweeping and so on. However, having less time on work and chores will put parents under great pressure if they spend a large amount of time to tutor their children.

    In conclusion, doing homework independently will exert positive influence on children and parents.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 7, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    Score: 52.1

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    2. Control each paragraph within 85 words;
    3. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Problems Highlight

    Taking a glimpse of situation [Article error] of children’s education, due to increasingly heavy class load, parents would like to help their children finish schoolwork. Tutoring homework, in many parents’ opinions, could enable their children to complete schools’ task early so as to make it possible for their children to reduce pressure. However, my perspective is that parents ought to stimulate their children study [Grammatical Error] individually[Problematic/unnecessary adverb], which will bring with beneficial[Article error] impact on children and their parents.
     
    Hardly can we neglect the significance of studying independently[Problematic/unnecessary adverb] for children to being competitive in the future. Initially, children, by completing schoolwork on their own, will be independent and gain competitive edges in work fields in the future. To be specific, being independent not only enables children to endure hardships and difficulties but also inspires them to move on in the wake of failure. In addition, doing homework by themselves could foster favorable [Article error]study habit, which will definitely enhance children study efficiency greatly[Problematic/unnecessary adverb]. Just imagine, if a boy is accustomed to deal with a great deal of difficult problems in homework solely, that could exercise his brain and hands-on skills. So, the boy, with independent [Article error]mind and abundant hands-on experience, will certainly [Problematic/unnecessary adverb]be more effective in studying.
     
    What is equally worth discussing is that cultivating children to do schoolwork independently could reduce loads of parents. To be specific, parents could gain more time to focus on jobs and housework if children could finish their homework on their own. For one thing, facing with [Grammatical Error]the competitive society, parents have to finish a great deal of work, which would make them burn out. When children could study individually, parents could devote more energy to work rather than spend hours on [Preposition Error] tutoring their children, creating an opportunity to reduce pressure [Article error]of working. For another thing, not only do parents distribute a great deal of time to job[Article error], but they need to juggle housework. In detail, the more parents participate in children’s studying, the less time they spend on doing such housework as cooking, sweeping and so on. However, having less time on work and chores will put parents under great [Vague Word] pressure if they spend a large amount of time to tutor their children.
     
    In conclusion, doing homework independently [Repetition] will exert positive [Article error] influence on children and parents.
    [Please rewrite and re-submit your essay.]
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