Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  • Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    April 4, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    Although almost everyone nowadays agrees about government should take on the responsibility of national healthcare, there is some dispute about whether government or family should provide medical care for teenagers. My view is that while states’ efforts has been for the benefit of children, we should take priority on parental medical care for children.

    There are good grounds for arguing that national governors should invest in the project of medical care. One of these is governments can ensure the quality of medical services while lightening the burden for children’s caretakers. This is due to the fact that the states exert tax fees to cut off substantial expenses. Another is that the framework of medical care is relatively fair for every kid especially in the developing countries. In this case, it might be justifiably quite right to introduce governments to handle youngster’s medical care issues.

    Equally there is a very strong argument for parents are liable to consider the matters of children medical care. This is because one extremely important principle that parents are the ones who, in particular, acquaint with and pour most of their hearts into springs. Teenagers’ health condition in the formative years may deteriorate if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong for going public services casually.

    In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the case, my personal belief is that children medical care should be better catered for by parents rather than national institutions. I suggest that there should be more investment in the civil healthcare and there should be more sophisticated framework for parents to consume differential services.

    April 14, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    April 15, 2020 at 2:33 pm

    Almost everyone nowadays agrees about the government should take on the responsibility of national healthcare. However, there is some dispute about whether government or family should provide medical care for teenagers. My view is that while states’ efforts have been for the benefit of children, we should take priority on parental medical care.

    There are broad grounds for arguing that governors should invest in the project of medical care. One of these is governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true in developing countries or some place where municipality has been struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can exert their fiscal strength to provide the most general healthcare framework for young people. Another is that teenagers’ diseases are intricate cases, had there been anyone but reputable state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right to introduce governments to handle youngster’s medical care issues.

    Equally, there is a steadfast argument for parents are liable to consider the matters of children medical care. Provocateurs deem one extremely important principle is that parents pour most of their hearts into springs. In addition, health condition of youngsters might even deteriorate if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong for adopting public services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is strong contention on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up the argument for parents. I suggest that government should prioritize expenditure on healthcare and parents should provide prescription carefully.

    April 15, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    Score: 52.1

    Issues:

    1. Three consecutive sentences start with the same word.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    April 16, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    Almost everyone nowadays agrees about the necessity to provide national healthcare for children. However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family should make such thing happen. My view is that while states’ efforts have been for the benefit of children, we had better resort to parental medical care.

    There are good grounds for arguing that governors should invest in medical care territory. One of these is governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true in developing countries where the municipality is struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers the most general healthcare framework. Another is that adolescent diseases are sophisticated cases, had there been anyone but state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right for governments to handle youngster’s healthcare issues.

    Equally, there is a steadfast argument for parents to consider healthcare for children. This originates from one basic principle that parents pour most of their hearts into offspring. To be specific, teenagers can enjoy specialized insurance because family members are acquainted with their health condition. Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong to adopt public services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is massive contention on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up parental care. I suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.

    Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    April 22, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Almost everyone nowadays agrees about the necessity to provide national healthcare for children. However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family should make such thing happen. My view is that while states’ efforts have been for the benefit of children, we had better resort to parental medical care.

    There are good grounds for arguing that governors should invest in medical care territory. One of these is governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true in developing countries where the municipality is struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers the most general healthcare framework. Another is that adolescent diseases are sophisticated cases, had there been anyone but state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right for governments to handle youngster’s healthcare issues.

    Equally, there is a steadfast argument for parents to consider healthcare for children. This originates from one basic principle that parents pour most of their hearts into offspring. To be specific, teenagers can enjoy specialized insurance because family members are acquainted with their health condition. Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong to adopt public services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is massive contention on both sides of the cases, my personal belief backs up parental care. I suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.

    April 22, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Score: 53.9

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    April 23, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    Almost everyone nowadays agrees about the necessity to provide national healthcare for children. However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family should make such thing happen. My view is that while states’ efforts have been for the benefit of children, we had better resort to parental medical care.

    There are good grounds for arguing that governors should invest in medical care territory. One of these is governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true for developing countries where local citizens are struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers the most general healthcare framework. Another is that adolescent diseases are sophisticated cases, had there been anyone but state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right for governments to handle youngster’s healthcare issues.

    Meanwhile, there is a steadfast argument for parents to consider healthcare for children. This originates from one basic principle that parents pour most of their hearts into offspring. Furthermore, it is natural for family members to make decisions for children who are too young to make choices. Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong to adopt public services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is massive contention on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up parental care. I suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.

    April 26, 2020 at 2:15 am

    Score: 57.7

    Almost everyone nowadays agrees about [with  ] the necessity to provide benefits of receiving national healthcare for children. (However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family should make such thing happen. My view is that while states’ efforts have been for the benefit of children, we had better resort to parental medical care.) [  very difficult to read/rephrase]

    There are good grounds for arguing that governors [  wrong word]should invest in [article error  ]medical care territory/field. One of these benefits is that governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true for developing countries where local citizens are struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers the most general healthcare framework. Another is that adolescent diseases are sophisticated cases, had there been anyone but state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right for governments to handle youngster’s healthcare issues.

    Meanwhile, there is a steadfast argument for parents to consider healthcare for children. This originates from one basic principle that parents pour most of their hearts into offspring. Furthermore, it is natural for family members to make decisions for children who are too young to make choices. Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong to adopt public services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is massive contention on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up parental care. I suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.

    Neil
    University: Tianjin University of Economics and Finance
    Nationality: China
    May 10, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    Almost everyone agrees with the benefits of receiving national healthcare for children. However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family should decide what that care is. My view is that while state may adopt a general policy for children’s medical care, parents ought to take priority.

    There are good grounds for arguing that the state should decide on the medical provision children receive. One of benefits is that governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true for developing countries where local citizens are struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers with the most general healthcare framework. Another is that youth diseases are sophisticated cases, had there been anybody but state hospital to resolve them. In this case, it might be justifiably right for kids to enjoy governmental treatment.

    Meanwhile, there is a steadfast argument for parents to consider healthcare for children. This originates from one basic principle that parents pour most of their hearts into offspring. Furthermore, it is natural for family members to make decisions for children who are too young to make choices. Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody. In this case, it seems quite wrong to adopt state services without meditation.

    In conclusion, while there is massive contention on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up parental care. I suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.

    May 11, 2020 at 1:50 am

    Score: 58.7

    Final revision

    Almost everyone agrees with the benefits of receiving national healthcare for children. However, there is some dispute about whether the government or family [ parents ] should decide what that care is. My view is that while the state may adopt a general policy for children’s medical care, parents ought to take priority make this decision.

    There are good grounds for arguing that the state should decide on the shoulder the responsibility for medical provision that children receive. One of the benefits is that governments can ensure the quality and justice of medical services. This is especially true for/in developing countries where local citizens are struggling with poverty. The explanation is, authorities can provide teenagers with the most general healthcare framework. Another is that youth Additionally, pediatric diseases are often (sophisticated cases, had there been anybody but state hospital to resolve them.)[  unclear] In this case, it might be justifiably right for kids to enjoy governmental treatment at government-supported hospitals.

    Meanwhile, (there is a steadfast argument)[too many THERE IS/Use no more than one in an essay  ] for that parents to should consider healthcare services for children. This argument originates from one basic principle that parents (pour most of their hearts into offspring)[ make no sense in English ] . Furthermore, it is natural for family members to make decisions for children who are too young to make choices. (Besides, youngsters might suffer from psychic problems like autism if it was not for parents’ specialized custody.)[  off the topic] In this case, it [ replace all IT if the word fails to echo a specific noun in the prior sentence ] seems quite wrong to adopt state services without meditation.

    In conclusion, (while there is massive contention)[rephrase  ] on both sides of the case, my personal belief backs up parental care. In the meantime, I also suggest that governments should prioritize expenditure on healthcare in favor of both parents and children.