Parents should encourage children do homework

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Parents should encourage children do homework

  • JINGLONG XU
    University: North China University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 28, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    Topic: Rather than help their children do schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their homework independently.

    Taking a glimpse of situation of children’s education, due to increasingly heavy class load, parents would like to help their children finish schoolwork. Tutoring homework, in many parents’ opinions, could enable their children to complete schools’ task early so as to make it possible for their children to reduce pressure. However, my perspective is that parents ought to stimulate their children study individually, which will bring with beneficial impact on children and their parents.

    Hardly can we neglect the significance of studying independently for children to being competitive in the future. Initially, children, by completing schoolwork on their own, will be independent and gain competitive edges in work fields in the future. To be specific, being independent not only enables children to endure hardships and difficulties but also inspires them to move on in the wake of failure. In addition, doing homework by themselves could foster favorable study habit, which will definitely enhance children study efficiency greatly. Just imagine, if a boy is accustomed to deal with a great deal of difficult problems in homework solely, that could exercise his brain and hands-on skills. So, the boy, with independent mind and abundant hands-on experience, will certainly be more effective in studying.

    What is equally worth discussing is that cultivating children to do schoolwork independently could reduce loads of parents. To be specific, parents could gain more time to focus on jobs and housework if children could finish their homework on their own. For one thing, facing with the competitive society, parents have to finish a great deal of work, which would make them burn out. When children could study individually, parents could devote more energy to work rather than spend hours on tutoring their children, creating an opportunity to reduce pressure of working. For another thing, not only do parents distribute a great deal of time to job, but they need to juggle housework. In detail, the more parents participate in children’s studying, the less time they spend on doing such housework as cooking, sweeping and so on. However, having less time on work and chores will put parents under great pressure if they spend a large amount of time to tutor their children.

    In conclusion, doing homework independently will exert positive influence on children and parents.


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    May 1, 2019 at 3:04 am

    Score: 52.1

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    2. More than 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words; shorten/split these sentences;
    3. Restrict each paragraph to 85 words;

    Rewrite and resubmit your essay.

    Problems Highlight

    Taking a glimpse of situation [Grammatical Eroor]of children’s education, due to increasingly heavy class load, parents would like to help their children finish schoolwork. Tutoring homework, in many parents’ opinions, could enable their children to complete schools’ task early so as to make it possible for their children to reduce pressure. However, my perspective is that parents ought to stimulate their children study [Grammatical Eroor]individually, which will bring with [Article Issue]beneficial impact on children and their parents.

    Hardly can we neglect the significance of studying independently for children to being competitive in the future. Initially, children, by completing schoolwork on their own, will be independent and gain competitive edges in work fields in the future. To be specific, being independent not only enables children to endure hardships and difficulties but also inspires them to move on in the wake of failure. In addition, doing homework by themselves could foster favorable study habit, which will definitely [[Problematic or unnecessary adverb]]enhance children study efficiency greatly[Problematic or unnecessary adverb]. Just imagine, if a boy is accustomed [Passive Voice] to deal with a great deal of[Gramatical Error] difficult problems in homework solely, that could exercise his brain and hands-on skills. So, the boy, with independent [Gramatical Error] mind and abundant hands-on experience, will certainly [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] be more effective in studying.

    What is equally worth discussing is that cultivating children to do schoolwork independently[Repetition] could reduce loads of parents. To be specific, parents could gain more time to focus on jobs and housework if children could finish their homework on their own. For one thing, facing with [Gramatical Error] the competitive society, parents have to finish a great deal of work, which would make them burn out. When children could study individually[Repetition] , [Punctuation Error] parents could devote more energy to work rather than spend hours on [Gramatical Error] tutoring their children, creating an opportunity to reduce pressure [Gramatical Error] of working. For another thing, not only do parents distribute a great deal of time to [Gramatical Error] job, but they need to juggle housework. In detail, the more parents participate in children’s studying, the less time they spend on doing such housework as cooking, sweeping and so on. However, having less time on work and chores will put parents under great pressure if they spend a large amount of time to tutor their children.

    In conclusion, doing homework independently [Repetition] will exert [Gramatical Error] positive influence on children and parents.

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