Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

  • Anne e
    University: Tianjin Medical University
    Nationality: China
    December 21, 2020 at 12:02 pm

    Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

    There are a lot of people need help from us.Although most of people say that today people are less warm-hearted than past day,from my perspective,I hold different opinions with them and my reasons are as follows.

    To begin with,people nowadays are more willing to help people they don’t know than the past maybe because their life are wealthier than before so they are able to help people who cannot raise themselves.For example,in the past,most of the people struggled for their lives.A lot of things need to complish by hands while nowadays we use machines to liberate us from heavy work.Through less time to make more money with the result that more and more people become wealthier.After paying all the money for their own needs,they have surplus money which give more possibilities to help poor people.

    Second,people are willing to help strangers because of the development of technology.In the past,people are of little literacy which know less things about the society.For example,in the past,though village and village are very close to each other,the information from one village rarely spread to the other.But nowadays we have internet and phones.We can easily obtain the sounds of calling for help.We can also deliver food and clothes to the people living in the mountains benefit from the development of transportation.

    Third,people are willing to help others because they have receive better education.In the past,few people go to school.However,nowadays teachers teach little children to share their food with others.They also hold up activities that donate clothes and books to children in poor family to educate students in school and cultivate their qualities.

    In conlusion,I agree with the statement that nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 2:56 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 
    3. Numerous grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Anne e
    University: Tianjin Medical University
    Nationality: China
    January 10, 2021 at 5:49 pm

    There are a lot of people who need help from us. Most of the people say that today people are less warm-hearted than the past day. From my perspective, I hold different opinions with them and my reasons are as follows.

    To begin with, people nowadays are more willing to help strangers than before maybe because they are much wealthier. After covering living expenses, they have more surpluses to help others. For example, in the past, most people struggled for their lives. They did work by hands with low productivity while nowadays we use machines to liberate us from heavy labor. In the meantime, using machines enhances work’s efficiency and quality. Through less time to make more products with the result that people become wealthier and wealthier. Therefore, they are able to help others.

    Second, people are willing to help strangers because of the development of information and communication technology. Previously, people are of little literacy which seldom cared about society. For example, in the past, though the villages adjoin each other, the information from one village rarely spread to another. But nowadays we have the internet and phones. We can easily obtain the sounds of calling for help. We can also deliver food and clothes to the people living in the mountains which benefits from the development of transportation. Therefore, people today help others easier than before.

    Third, people are willing to help others because they have received a better education. In the past, few people went to school. However, nowadays teachers educate little children to share their food and toys with others. They also hold up activities that donate clothes and books to children in a poor family. Therefore, through these activities, little children can be helpful.

    In conclusion, I agree with the statement that nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 8:11 pm

    (There are a lot of people who) [wordy/avoid using ‘there be’  ] need help from us. Most of the people[wordy  ] say that today people[repetition  ] are less warm-hearted than the past day[ wordy ] . (From my perspective, I hold different opinions )[ redundant ] with them[unclear pronoun  ] and (my reasons are as follows)[ use your own words and be specific ] .

    To begin with, people nowadays are more willing to help strangers than before maybe because they are much wealthier. After covering living expenses, they have more surpluses to help others. For example, in the past, most people struggled for their lives. They did work by hands with low productivity while nowadays we use machines to liberate us from heavy labor. In the meantime, using machines enhances work’s efficiency and quality. Through less time to make more products with the result that people become wealthier and wealthier. Therefore, they are able to help others.

    Second, people are willing to help strangers because of the development of information and communication technology. Previously, people are of little literacy which seldom cared about society. For example, in the past, though the villages adjoin each other, the information from one village rarely spread to another. But nowadays we have the internet and phones. We can easily obtain the sounds of calling for help. We can also deliver food and clothes to the people living in the mountains which benefits from the development of transportation. Therefore, people today help others easier than before.

    Third, people are willing to help others because they have received a better education. In the past, few people went to school. However, nowadays teachers educate little children to share their food and toys with others. They also hold up activities that donate clothes and books to children in a poor family. Therefore, through these activities, little children can be helpful.

    In conclusion, I agree with the statement that nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know than they were in the past.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    Partial revision (reason: all sentences are problematic.)