People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

  • Zezezm
    University: Southeast University
    Nationality: China
    November 28, 2020 at 6:59 am

    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

    It cannot be more obvious that education in colleges or universities can offer us more benefits distinctively. More and more people enter colleges or universities for various sakes. I believe that for different people there exist different inducements to motivate them to attend colleges.

    For a part of students eager to learn more sophisticated knowledge of their interesting fields, going to colleges for higher education after finishing middle school could be reckoned as a great choice. In the American TV series The Big Band Theory, Sheldon Cooper has a talent for physics while education in high school could only teach him introductory physical knowledge. Because of his excellent performance in physics, he was admitted to Caltech (California Institute of Technology) for advanced learning, where he has more valuable opportunities to study physics deeply, and finally, Sheldon becomes a theoretical physicist.

    In practical terms, education in a college can also pave the way for a future career for one who’s made up his mind to apply for a job instantly after graduation. For one thing, teachers will impart the essential professional knowledge and necessary employable skills to him. For another, in modern society, education background is more and more indicative of one’s quality and capacity. In this case, HR is more likely to pick the candidates with higher education levels among all position applicants.

    What’s more, a broad circle of friends is appealing enough for a student to enter a college. Life in high school is relatively narrow so that one will be anxious to broaden his contacts circle after graduation. In college, he can find others with different identities through whom, he has the opportunities to feel and understand the world from various perspectives.

    Considering all of the factors mentioned above, it is no denying that entering a college or university is always worthy of selection, no matter which reason tempting a person.

    [312 words]

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 5, 2020 at 3:03 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Remove bolding of words
    4. Word choice errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.