People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individuals and society as a whole?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individuals and society as a whole?

  • Eeeeeve
    University: shanghai university
    Nationality: shanghai university
    April 10, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individuals and society as a whole?

    Each year brings further evidence that new internet-based products are sprouting like mushrooms, which leads to an unprecedented revolution of our lifestyle. Since this alternation welcome to some and miserable for others, it is high time to take a hard look on the detrimental effects and the beneficial effects alike.

    For individuals, the rising tide of people no longer meet together as often as they used to be, being substituted by a flood of instant messaging products, widens the gap between people both physically and emotionally. Furthermore, this tendency also breed loneliness as a common problem of modern people and consequently stifle people’s enterprise and initiative like an invisible killer. Apart from that, since now everyone is getting too used to do basic activities online, it could be a curse of a prevalent sedentary and unwholesome lifestyle. For the society, the expedient that modern facilities served witnessed increasingly intense alienation between people, to some point, gives an aloof, detached and indifferent vibe rise to the society as a blur sign of the collapse of the social harmony.

    To the credit side, for some individuals, instead of feeling isolated or aliened, the advent of new, life-altering changes rather cater to their needs. And more often than not it serves a useful function of boost people’s efficiency and productivity. A good case in point is that the advent of online banking render queuing before the bank counter a relic of the past. For society, it is bound to spur the development in some fields, such as online shopping and social media applications, which sparkle the economical growth.

    To sum up, novel revolutionary breakthroughs always comes with laudable benefits and undesirable side-effects. There is a long journey to perfect the modern tools to meet a sober reality check and find a considerably fitting image for them.

     

    April 11, 2020 at 4:02 am

    Score: 42.7

    Issues:

    1. About 85% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Eeeeeve
    University: shanghai university
    Nationality: shanghai university
    April 11, 2020 at 11:47 am

    Each year brings further evidence that new internet-based products are unprecedentedly revolution of our lifestyle. Since this alternation is welcome for some and miserable for others, it is high time to take a hard look to the detrimental effects and the beneficial effects alike.

    For individuals, the rising tide of people rather use instant messaging products to substitute face-to-face interactions, widens the gap between people both physically and emotionally. Furthermore, this tendency also breed loneliness and thereby stifle people’s enterprise and initiative. Apart from that, since now everyone is getting too used to do basic activities online, it could be a curse of a prevalent sedentary and unwholesome lifestyle. For the society, the expedient that modern facilities served intensifies the alienation between people, to some point, brings us an aloof, detached and indifferent society. As a result, it could rock the foundation of social harmony.

    To the credit side, for some individuals, instead of feeling isolated, these new, life-altering changes turn out to cater to their needs more. Admittedly, it serves an useful function of boosting people’s efficiency and productivity in some aspects of daily life. A good case in point is that the advent of online banking render queuing before the bank counter a relic of the past. For society, it spurs the development in some fields, such as online shopping and social media applications, which is conducive to sustainable economic growth.

    To sum up, novel revolutionary breakthroughs always come with laudable benefits and undesirable side-effects. There is a long process for this development to meet a sober reality check and find a more fitting image for them.

    April 11, 2020 at 12:22 pm

    Score: 42

    Issues:

    1. More than 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Eeeeeve
    University: shanghai university
    Nationality: shanghai university
    April 13, 2020 at 7:37 am

    Each year brings further evidence that new internet-based products are revolutionizing our lifestyle in an unprecedented way. Since this alternation is welcome for some and miserable for others, it is high time to take a hard look at the strengths and weaknesses alike.

    For individuals, the rising tide of people rather use instant messaging products than interact face to face presents a wider gap between people. Under this circumstance, many citizens suffer from loneliness and depression. Apart from that, it could be a curse of a prevalent sedentary and unwholesome lifestyle. For society, the alienation between people has been intensifying  by the flourish of modern facilities markets. As a result, an aloof, detached and indifferent society would rock the foundation of social harmony.

    However, for some individuals, instead of feeling isolated, these life-altering changes rather cater to their needs. A noticeable contribution is that it boosts people’s efficiency and productivity. The advent of online banking turns queuing before the bank counter a relic of the past is a good case in point. For society, by spurring development in some fields, such as online shopping and social media applications, it is conducive to sustainable economic growth.

    To sum up, novel revolutionary breakthroughs always come with meaningful benefits and undesirable side-effects. This progress still have a long way to go to meet a sober reality check and find a more fitting image for them.

    April 14, 2020 at 2:54 am

    Score: 46.3

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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