People should take the time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People should take the time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.

  • TJY
    University: Beijing University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 22, 2020 at 3:00 am

    People should take the time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.

    Hobbies and activities are significant for employees during their daily life because they really need to relax. Some people insist that they should spend leisure time on hobbies and physical activities that are similar with their careers, so that they could keep focusing on their work. However, concerning the factual and logical fallacies above the insistence may have, I strongly hold that people ought to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are extremely different from their daily jobs.

    First of all, taking spare time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that differ from their work duties could let people feel eased and comfortable, ensuring a great condition of mental health. If people try to do something constantly, they will probably feel stressful or boring eventually. Employees repeat their tasks day by day, so it is not difficult for them to lose their enthusiasm. However, if they choose to embrace different kinds of hobbies or activities, they may acquire various experience and feelings, which could let them relax and satisfied. Take my friend as an example. Johnson is a fitness coach, and his responsibility is to teach trainees. He keeps talking and exercising every day, so he has already tired of this job. Surprisingly, his hobby is reading books, and he tells me that reading is the best way to release pressure for him. In his spare time, the most interesting things is to read novels, enjoying special events in books. Those stories would give him different views and feelings to the world.

    In addition, trying to learn hobbies and physical activities that differ from people’s jobs could excavate personal potentials, promoting individual comprehensive development. If people spend time on different kinds of hobbies and activities, it would offer opportunities for us to recognize ourselves and find out our hidden intelligence. Those findings may help us improve confidence, encouraging self-development. For instance, when I was a HR intern, once I managed to learn to draw oil painting as a hobby. Although painting was extreme differ from human resources work, I still wanted to get involved in. During the process of drawing, my teacher always praised me about my talent and skills. I surprisingly found out my potential through a hobby that totally unrelates with my major. From then on, drawing oil painting gave me confidence, promoting my growth.

    Admittedly, some argue that people need to focus on their professional career in order to improve efficiency of work, so it is better for them to have hobbies or physical activities just as same as what they do at work. I admit this statement, however, they ignore the social problems. If employees concentrate on their major all the time, they must lose some chances to meet different people, learn new things, and enrich their life. Under this circumstance, they may not be able to enlarge social circle effectively.

    October 22, 2020 at 3:04 am

    Score: ungraded

    Problems:

    1. Lengthy essay. Restrict your essay to 300 -320 words. A lengthy essay can result in a bad score;
    2. Lengthy paragraph. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    3. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Restrict to 15%.

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