People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work

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  • ShippersForMe Participant
    QH314159
    University: Nanjing Uinversity
    Nationality: Chinese
    October 30, 2020 at 3:01 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

    Many people have times when they are stressed out or tired due to long durations of work. Then they need to relax, some choose to relax with hobbies that are close to what they do at work, while I think relaxing with hobbies or physical activities that re different from what they do at work would be a better option.

    First, it’s because that people can get tired after having repeated some tasks over and over again. That uses the same part of their body and makes them either physically or mentally exhausted. For example, I am a graduate student studying astrophysics, I do a lot of computer programming and my eyes get sore after one or two hours of that. If I choose to relax with computer games, my eyes certainly won’t get proper rest. Moreover, my hands would fell stiff because computer games also ties my hands to the keyboard. However, if I choose to relaxing by taking a short walk in the campus, I can enjoy the beautiful scenry and rest my eyes. Meanwhile, I can stretch my feets and breath fresh air.

    Second, realxing with activities that are different from what people do at work allows them to put their mind off their work. This allows them to use different parts of their body and help them see different things in their lives. Putting their mind off work also helps them release the stress related to their job. People may experience stress when they have to deal with intricate relationships with their work mates or bosses, and a change of environment can at least release them from the stress for a while. They are likely to be more energetic after a short rest and can devote themselves into their wok again.

    Due to the reasons above, I think relaxing with activities that are different from what people do at work are more beneficial, they will be able to release their pressure and motive different part of their body, which would in term help them do better at their work.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    November 2, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Spelling errors
    4. Singular versus plural errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    ShippersForMe Participant
    QH314159
    University: Nanjing Uinversity
    Nationality: Chinese
    November 6, 2020 at 12:34 am

    Many people have times when they are stressed out or tired due to long durations of work, and they feel the need to relax. Some choose to relax with hobbies that are close to what they do at work, while relaxing with hobbies or physical activities that are different from what they do at work would be a better option.

    First, it’s because that people can get tired after having repeated some tasks over and over again. That uses the same part of their body and makes them either physically or mentally exhausted. For example, I am a graduate student studying astrophysics, I do a lot of computer programming and my eyes get sore after one or two hours. If I choose to relax with computer games, my eyes won’t get proper rest. Moreover, my hands would feel stiff because computer games tie my hands to the keyboard. However, if I choose to relaxing by taking a short walk in the campus, I can enjoy the beautiful scenery and rest my eyes. Meanwhile, I can stretch my feet and get some fresh air.

    Second, realxing with different activities allows people to put their minds off work. They use different parts of their body and see different espects of their lives. Putting their mind off work also helps them release the stress related to their job. People may experience anxiety when they have to deal with intricate relationships with their colleagues or bosses, and a change of environment can at least release them from the stress for a while. They are likely to be more energetic after a short rest and feel ready to devote themselves to their work.

    Due to the reasons above, I think relaxing with activities that are different from what people do at work is more beneficial. They will be able to release their pressure and motive different parts of their body, which would help them do better at their work.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    November 6, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    Score: 64.3

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Still some spelling errors
    4. Preposition errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.