People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. What are the reasons? Are arts as important as science and technology?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. What are the reasons? Are arts as important as science and technology?

  • HAHA_WZ
    University: University of Science and Technology of China
    Nationality: China
    March 25, 2020 at 5:06 am

    People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. What are the reasons? Are arts as important as science and technology?

    Swiftly developing of the science and technology brings our life to a brand-new level, while people are still fond of art. As time goes by, art is always an eternal topic in our daily life. This essay will first discuss which reasons contribute to that inclination and it will then explain the importance of art.

    There are two main reasons that lead to our emphasis of artists. One is that art is a crucial way to improve our life quality. The intention to develop science is to enrich our life, and so is the art. Mohammed, the founder of Islam, once said ‘if you have two pieces of bread, you need to exchange one of it for a narcissus’. The narcissus here just stands for art, and that indicates art is essential to our life quality. The other reason is that cultural industry is also one of the important pillars of economy, which means it will provide scientific research with more funds to some degrees. Recently a survey has shown that art industry accounts for 10% of GDP in developed countries on average, while that number is less than 3% in China. That partly reflects the distance between China and developed countries in terms of economy and science level.

    With regard to the question of the importance of art compared with science and technology, I think they are definitely equal. What’s the core theme of art? It’s undoubtedly the imagination. Art encourages people to imagine unlimitedly, which results in numerous works of fantastic novels, sculptures, frescos and so on. That brilliant imagination lead people to think and explore more, which not only expand our horizons but also give scientists new ideas to some extent.

    In conclusion, art is an essential part in our life because it can enrich our life and plays an important role in economy. Its effect of imagination makes it as important as science and technology.

    March 25, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Paragraphs are lengthy; restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    March 25, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    I don’t have your WeChat account. Please add my WeChat. Thanks!

    HAHA_WZ
    University: University of Science and Technology of China
    Nationality: China
    March 26, 2020 at 8:07 am

    Swiftly developing of science and technology brings our life to a brand-new level, while people still value artists. As time goes by, art is always an eternal topic in our daily life. This essay will discuss which reasons contribute to that inclination, and explain the importance of art.

    Initially, art is a crucial way to improve our life quality. The intention to develop science is to enrich our life, and so is art. Mohammed, the founder of Islam, once said, “if you have two pieces of bread, you need to exchange one of it for a narcissus.” Narcissus here stands for aesthetic and that indicates art is essential to our life quality. Various forms of art are conductive to improving aesthetic and adding variety to our life.

    Additionally, the cultural industry is part and parcel of the national economy. The revenue of art will provide scientific research with more funds to some degrees. Recently a survey has shown that the cultural industry accounts for 10% of GDP in America, while that number is less than 3% in China. That partly shows the distance between two nations in the aspect of economy and science level.

    With regard to the question of the importance of art compared with science and technology, they are definitely equal. What’s the core theme of the art? It’s the imagination. Art encourages people to think outside the box, and that gives rise to numerous works of fantastic novels, sculptures and so on. That brilliant imagination not only expands our horizons but also gives scientists new ideas to some extent.

    In conclusion, art is more than valuable because it enriches our world and plays a vital role in the economy. Its being a stimulus to the imagination makes it as significant as the science and technology.

    March 26, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Score: Ungraded

    Swiftly [ wrong word ] developing [word form error  ] of science and technology brings our life to a brand-new[ wrong word ] level, while people still value artists. As time goes by, art is always an eternal topic in our daily life. This essay will discuss which reasons [ bad writing; specify reasons ] contribute to that inclination[ wrong word ] , and explain the importance of art[bad thesis  ] .

    Initially, art is[grammatical error in relation to ‘initially’  ] a crucial way to improve our life quality. The intention to develop science is to enrich our life, and so is art. Mohammed, the founder of Islam, once said, “if you have two pieces of bread, you need to exchange one of it for a narcissus.” Narcissus here stands for aesthetic[ word form error ] and that[ unclear pronoun ] indicates[ pronoun error ] art is essential to our life quality[ redundant ]. Various forms of art are conductive to improving aesthetic[ word form error ] and adding variety to our life[confused  ] .

    Additionally, the [introduction without preparation/off-topic  ] cultural industry is part and parcel of the national economy. The revenue of art will provide scientific research with more funds to some degrees[ word form error ] . Recently [  punctuation error] a survey has shown[ grammatical error ] that the cultural industry accounts for 10% of GDP in America, while that number is less than 3% in China. That[unclear pronoun  ] partly shows the distance between [ article error ] two nations in the aspect of economy and science level[ unsupportive to the prior sentence ] .

    (With regard to the question of )[ wordy ] the importance of art compared with science and technology[ awkward writing ] , they[ unclear pronoun ] are definitely equal. What’s the core theme of the art? It’s the[  article error] imagination. Art encourages people to think outside the box, and that gives rise to numerous works of fantastic novels, sculptures and so on. That brilliant imagination not only expands our horizons but also gives scientists new ideas to some extent.

    In conclusion, art is more than valuable because it enriches our world and (plays a vital role in)[vague/use concrete verb  ] the economy. Its[word form error  ] being a stimulus to the [ article error ] imagination makes[grammatical error  ] it as significant as the[ article error ] science and technology.