People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • shawlee
    University: Tongji University
    Nationality: China
    September 15, 2021 at 8:03 am

    People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved for most people. People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in my opinion, most people spend too much time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age. Everyone can have access to fascinating mobile games and latest movies by internet no matter where he is. And to make matters worse, most people lack the ability to resist the temptation of entertainment. As a result, part of the time, which should have been spent at work, study, or other personal duties, is gradually consumed by endless entertainment.

    Take my colleague as an example. He is addicted to TikTok, which is an app in smartphone. Also, he watches short videos by TikTok whenever he has time. However, the excessive use of this short-form video app led to his failure in career last year. At first, he just spent quite a little time on this app after work. But due to growing dependence on TikTok, he began to watch short videos during working hours. Finally, he didn’t finish his working tasks at the end of last year and made a terrible mistake on an important paperwork. No doubt my boss fired him without hesitation. The unbalance between his work and entertainment destroyed his career at last.

    I have to admit that a small number of people can still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, it does not mean that they don’t pay more attention to personal pleasure but only means they can control themselves better. As the access to entertainment become easier than ever before, most people cannot insist on spending much time on what they should do but indulging in what they like to do.

    September 15, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved for (preposition error) most people. People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in my opinion, most people spend too much time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age. Everyone can have (delete) access to (delete) fascinating mobile games and (missing article) latest movies by (preposition error) (missing article) internet no matter where he is (the are). And to make matters worse, most people lack the ability to resist the temptation of entertainment. As a result, part of the time, which should have been spent at work, study, or other personal duties, (simplify) is gradually consumed by endless entertainment.

    Take my colleague as an example. He is addicted to TikTok, which is an app in smartphone. Also, he watches short videos by TikTok whenever he has time. However, the excessive use of this short-form video app led to his failure in career last year. At first, he just spent quite a little time on this app after work. But due to growing dependence on TikTok, he began to watch short videos during working hours. Finally, he didn’t finish his working tasks at the end of last year and made a terrible mistake on an important paperwork. No doubt my boss fired him without hesitation. The unbalance between his work and entertainment destroyed his career at last.

    I have to admit that a small number of people can still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, it does not mean that they don’t pay more attention to personal pleasure but only means they can control themselves better. As the access to entertainment become easier than ever before, most people cannot insist on spending much time on what they should do but indulging in what they like to do.

    September 15, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved for (preposition error) most people. People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in my opinion, most people spend too much time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age. Everyone can have (delete) access to (delete) fascinating mobile games and (missing article) latest movies by (preposition error) (missing article) internet no matter where he is (the are). And to make matters worse, most people lack the ability to resist the temptation of entertainment. As a result, part of the time, which should have been spent at work, study, or other personal duties, (simplify) is gradually consumed by endless entertainment.

    Take my colleague as an example. He is addicted to TikTok, which is an app in smartphone. Also, he watches short videos by TikTok whenever he has time. However, the excessive use of this short-form video app led to his failure in career last year. At first, he just spent quite a little time on this app after work. But due to growing dependence on TikTok, he began to watch short videos during working hours. Finally, he didn’t finish his working tasks at the end of last year and made a terrible mistake on an important paperwork. No doubt my boss fired him without hesitation. The unbalance between his work and entertainment destroyed his career at last.

    I have to admit that a small number of people can still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, it does not mean that they don’t pay more attention to personal pleasure but only means they can control themselves better. As the access to entertainment become easier than ever before, most people cannot insist on spending much time on what they should do but indulging in what they like to do.

    September 15, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    Partial Revision (please fix similar errors, revise whole essay, and resubmit)

    shawlee
    University: Tongji University
    Nationality: China
    September 17, 2021 at 6:00 am

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved by most people. People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in my opinion, most people spend too much time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age. Everyone can access fascinating mobile games and the latest movies on the internet no matter where they are. And to make matters worse, most people lack the ability to resist the temptation of entertainment. As a result, endless entertainment has gradually consumed the time that should be spent on work, study, or other personal duties.

    Take my colleague as an example. He is addicted to TikTok, which is an app in smartphones. Also, he watches short videos by TikTok whenever he has time. However, the excessive use of this short-form video app led to his failure in career last year. At first, he just spent quite a little time on this app after work. But due to growing dependence on TikTok, he began to watch short videos during working hours. Finally, he didn’t finish his working tasks at the end of last year and made a terrible mistake on an important paperwork. No doubt my boss fired him without hesitation. The unbalance between his work and entertainment destroyed his career at last.

    I have to admit that a small number of people can still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, it does not mean that they don’t pay more attention to personal pleasure but only means they can control themselves better. As the access to entertainment become easier than ever before, most people cannot insist on spending much time on what they should do but indulging in what they like to do.

    • This reply was modified 6 days, 9 hours ago by shawlee. Reason: better
    September 17, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved by most people. People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in my opinion, most people spend too much time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age. Everyone can access fascinating mobile games and the latest movies on the internet no matter where they are. And to make matters worse, most people lack the ability to resist the temptation of entertainment. As a result, endless entertainment has gradually consumed the (delete) time that should be spent on work, study, or other personal duties.

    Take my colleague as an example. He (For example, my colleague) is addicted to TikTok, which is (delete) an app in smartphones (a smartphone app). Also, (delete) he watches short videos by (delete) TikTok whenever he has time. However, the (, and his) excessive use of this short-form video (delete) app led to his failure in his career last year. At first, he just (delete) spent quite a (delete) little time on this app after work. But due to a growing dependence on TikTok, he began to watch (watching) short videos during working hours. Finally, he didn’t (did not) finish his working tasks (work) at the end of last year and made a terrible mistake on an important paperwork (paper). No doubt (, and) my boss fired him without hesitation. The unbalance (imbalance) between his work and entertainment destroyed his career at last (delete).

    I have to admit that a small number of people can (delete) still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, it does not mean that they don’t pay more (they still spend some) attention to personal pleasure but only means (, but) they can control themselves better. As the (delete) access to entertainment becomes easier than ever before, most people cannot insist on spending much time on what they should do but indulging in what they like to do. (rewrite)

    September 21, 2021 at 12:55 am

    Nowadays a balance between what we like and what we should do can hardly be achieved by most people. [Keeping a balance between what we like and what we should often remains a challenge for most people since they ]People tend to pay more attention to personal pleasure than their duties. Therefore, in [In  ]my opinion, most people spend too much[ excessive ] time on their entertainment.

    There are many reasons for people to [that people  ]immerse themselves in personal pleasure. Above all, entertainment is everywhere in this modern digital age[digitalized world  ]. Everyone [ As a result, many ]can access [ latest ] fascinating mobile games and the latest movies on the internet no matter where they are. And to make matters worse, most [ However, many ]people lack the ability to[ are unable to ] resist the temptation of [ from ]entertainment. As a result, endless entertainment has gradually consumed time that should be spent on work, study, or other personal duties[unclear sentence  ].

    [ Poor structure ]For example, my [ My ]colleague is addicted to TikTok, a [popular Chinese  ]smartphone app popular in China.  He watches short videos whenever he has time, and his excessive use of this app led to his failure in his career last year. At first, he spent little time on this app after work. But due to a growing dependence on TikTok, [ but ] he [ gradually ]began watching short videos during working hours. Finally, [ As a consequence, ]he did not finish[complete  ] his work at the end of last year[ , ] and[ he also ] made a terrible[ big ] mistake [that resulted in his expulsion  ] on an important paper, and my boss fired him without hesitation. The[Apparently,   ] imbalance between his work and entertainment destroyed his career.

    I have to admit that a small number of people still spend enough time doing what they should do. However, they still pay some attention to personal pleasure, but[so  ] they can control themselves better. As access to entertainment becomes easier than ever before, most people indulge in their hobbies instead of expending sufficient time on their duties.

    September 21, 2021 at 1:09 am

    Final revision