People who develop many different skills are more successful than people who focus on one skill only. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 80% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 60% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Some people claim that we should have [ article error ]all-round development to cater to the employers’ demands in this era. Apart from being knowledgeable in [article error  ]single field, people[ inconsistent subject that results in poor coherence ] who have multiple skills will be more favored[ logically incomplete ]. However, I still think that people[inconsistent subject  ] should persist in developing one strong point instead of mastering all kinds of abilities.

There is no denying that focusing on one skill contributes to[ article error ] deeper understanding. If a person studies [ grammatical error/subjunctive voice ]one subject for a life-long time, he/she may[grammatical error  ] have a great likelihood to make an achievement. Take my aunt Susan for example[  wrong phrase/check contexts to use for example/as an example], [punctuation error  ]she chose psychology[ upper/lower case error ] as her major in the[ article error ] college. After graduation, she continued to get further study abroad in the area of psychotherapy. Until now, 15 years later, she still worked as a therapist. Every year she will[  tense error] receive amounts of [wrong phrase  ]Letters of Thanks from her previous patients. Her experience always reminds me that a successful man should choose one subject area and dig into it.

On the contrary, if a person pursues[ grammatical error ] for[preposition error  ] various skills at a time, he/she can be[grammatical error  ] easily distracted. Nowadays our country stresses (importance on)[redundant  ] computer technology skills, (leading to an upsurge of programming study)[ unclear ]. According to a survey conducted by my school, nearly half of the students have achieved( computer grade)[ spelling/upper/lower case ] II certificate, regardless of their majors’ relevance. They[ unclear pronoun ] believe that the more credentials they have, the more competitive they will be[change dull BE verb into a stronger verb  ] when hunting for a job. Consequently, they[  unclear pronoun] just attend different tutorial classes aimlessly. The side effect is that, when they prepare for these exams, they neglect the study of their professional courses.

Although some companies ask for diverse skills when interviewing applicants, it [ unclear pronoun ]won’t [  grammatical error]help if we develop [grammatical error  ]irrelevant capacities. Therefore, we should put our heart on one thing, [grammatical/punctuation error  ]keep going without looking (right and left)[ unclear ].

In summary, compared with learning techniques broadly, studying [ article error ]single subject deeply sounds better.

Some people claim that we should have an all-round development (word choice error) to cater to the employers’ demands in this era. Because p They would argue people who have multiple skills can do a wide variety of jobs with the same salary. However, I still think that we should persist in developing one strong point instead of mastering all kinds of abilities.

There is no denying that focusing on one skill contributes to a deeper understanding (of what?). If one studies a subject for a lifetime life-long time,  he or she will likely make great achievements have a great likelihood to make an achievement. Take my aunt Susan as an example, she chose Psychology as her major in college. After graduation, she continued to study abroad in the area of psychotherapy. Until now, 15 years later, she still works ed as a therapist. Every year she receives a number of complimentary letters Letters of Thanks from her previous patients. Her experience always reminds me that a successful person man should choose one subject area and dig into it.

On the contrary, if a person pursues various skills at a time, he or she can get easily distracted. Nowadays our country stresses computer technology skills, leading to a rush to learn programming. According to a survey conducted by my school, nearly half of the students have achieved Computer Grade II certificate, regardless of their majors’ relevance. These students believe that the more credentials they get, the more advantages they will have when hunting for a job. Consequently, students just attend different tutorial classes aimlessly. The side effect is that, when they prepare for these exams, they neglect to study their major the study of their professional courses.

Although some companies ask for diverse skills when interviewing applicants, it doesn’t help if we develop irrelevant capacities. Therefore, we should put our heart on one thing and keep going.

In summary, compared with learning techniques broadly, studying a single subject deeply sounds better.