Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history

  • Christina Han
    University: Shandong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    November 22, 2020 at 12:34 pm

    Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Nowadays, as the university charges keep increasing and many graduates are facing a dim future to find a job, some people claim that university should only provide pragmatic courses while eliminating arts subjects like philosophy and history for the sake of career security. Personally, I disagree with this point of view, as I firmly believe that art subjects are equally indispensable for one’s future life.

    To begin with, art subjects can help students hone their critical thinking, which is considered as an essential employability. Since classes of this kind are often featured by open discussion and profound reflection of society and the world, students may gradually learn how to think both broadly and deeply, with capabilities of analyzing issues objectively, formulating their original ideas, and making wise decisions. Although sometimes art subjects can be too abstract to be used in a real working situation, some knowledge concerning humanity is absolutely beneficial to professions like lawyer or teachers.

    Furthermore, people adept in art subjects can make contributions to society as well. It is true that science, technology, and medicine have improved almost every aspect of our life; it is also true that art and history play an important role in promoting a country’s soft power as well as the development of human civilization. For instance, without the study of history, policymakers may find it harder to make sensible plans and citizens may lack a sense of identity of their own culture, which can impair social stability. In this sense, the significance of art subjects cannot be substituted.

    In conclusion, it is irrational for universities to remove art subjects, as they can contribute to both critical thinking and social development. Therefore, it is suggested that universities pay as much attention to art subjects as other practical courses.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    November 23, 2020 at 8:32 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Article errors
    4. Add some supporting evidence to your introduction, why is it essential?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.