TPO 50 Integrated Writing: Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. 

Score: 58.5.

Recommendations:

1. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
2. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.

In the reading [ passage ], the author mentions three problems existed [ grammatical error ]in the project of sending humans to Mars. The lecture proposes solutions for [preposition error  ]each of the problems.

First, according to the passage, the round-trip to Mars takes several years while there isn’t enough space [ unclear/i.e. in the spaceship ]for supplies like/such as food, water, and oxygen. However, the lecturer suggests that we could use hydroponics to grow plants in water, which will require less space. The water could also be recycled as/into drinking water and the plants release oxygen so that there will be fresh air to breathe.[ redundant sentence ]

Second, in the passage, it is said that staying in the [article error  ]zero-gravity environment has negative effects on the[ article error ] astronauts’ body. The professor in the listening/lecture puts forward that we could use some technics[wrong word  ] to manage the effect of the zero-gravity and [pronoun error  ]doing exercise will also help strengthen muscle mass and bone density.

Third, the writer believes that it is impossible to create a shield to protect the spaceship from space radiation, [ punctuation error ]therefore the astronauts will be exposed to dangerous levels of radiation. Nevertheless, the lecturer points out that the spaceship is not exposed to the [ article error ]radiation all the time. The spaceship could be equipped with a special instrument that could monitor the[  article error] radiation and create a sheltered area where astronauts could stay when the[ article error ] radiation is active without adding too much weight[ redundant ].