Should we follow fashion?

  • Junjie Wei
    University: Zhejiang Yuexiu University of Foreign Languages
    Nationality: China
    October 12, 2020 at 2:56 pm

    Should we follow fashion?

    Recently, it has been argued whether people ought to follow fashion. There is a variety of opinions about this. Some believe that we should not follow fashion, and the others are the other way round. For me, I agree with the idea that we should follow fashion but this not means we become so-called trendy people.

    For those who don’t think that follow fashion is merely buying the fashionable clothes or following the hairstyle of the season, which give them a sense of identity. Thus this lead to people losing their characteristic. Because choosing the clothes of the season will be inevitably buy the same and appear the same. Also the hairstyle and is one of the aspect of showing people’s personality. For instance, the long and brown hair is dominant among younger girls over the past two years, which lead to them looking similar.

    And others who support the idea of following fashion believe this can bring an opportunity of work for people and add the people confidence. Studies have shown that a fashionably-dressed young woman will acquire more help in the workplace and more easily obtain the job opportunities than a woman who dresses casually. Also, a decent dressing will increase one’s confidence. In a speaking contest, because a well-dressed man can be certainly eye-catching, which make them feel more confidently for example

    In conclusion, i think that we should follow fashion but this not means we should be the so-called trendy people. Following fashion properly will increase our confidence, however, strictly following will lead us to identical.

    October 14, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Verb form errors
    3. Preposition errors
    4. Make your argument clear in your introduction, for what reason are you making your argument?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.