Should we follow fashion?

  • Junjie Wei
    University: Zhejiang Yuexiu University of Foreign Languages
    Nationality: China
    October 17, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    Some people say that fashion is nothing but selling clothes, thus we should not follow it and we ought to dress what we like and feel comfortable in it. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea that we should not follow fashion and are supposed to dress in a casual way.

    First and foremost, following fashion will bring an opportunity to work for people and add people’s confidence. Studies have shown that fashionably-dressed young women will acquire more help in the workplace and more job opportunities than a woman who dresses in a casual way. Because trendy young women are prettier and look smarter. Also, decent dressing will increase one’s confidence. For instance, in a speaking contest, because a well-dressed man can certainly be eye-catching, which makes them feel more confident.

    Some believe that people should not follow fashion as following fashion is just for buying fashionable clothes. As they think that selling fashionable clothes is a way of promoting products, people will inevitably buy the same and appear the same. However, I think this viewpoint is not cogent. Although people will buy the same products, what they wear and how they wear is different. A white-skin girl will pick bright colors, such as yellow, red and so on, for example. Because she knows this color will be suitable for her. Consequently, even in this case, people who follow fashion are still different from others.

    In conclusion, I think that we should follow fashion, as it will increase our confidence and bring more job opportunities to work for us.

    October 19, 2020 at 9:15 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Lots of punctuation errors. Learn how to use “,” and “;”.
    3. Many unclear pronouns (i.e., it). Replace all unclear pronouns with nouns.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.