Some parents offer school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some parents offer school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.

  • Hulda
    University: Beijing Technology and business universty
    Nationality: china
    July 26, 2021 at 3:42 am

    Some parents offer school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.

    There are certain factors to consider when a growing awareness of the importance of children’s education. Some people believe that giving children a little reward is a good way to encourage them to study hard. But others consider that money is harmful to them. Although the reward has many means, I firmly believe offering money to school-age children is a good idea.

    First of all, giving money to children as reward can encourage them to study harder in school. When children get the feedback because of their high grade, learning will become a happy thing. For instance, when I was in primary school student, my English was not good , so my parent made a regulation of the score , if I improve ten points in test, they will give me ten dollars as a reward. So, I study harder in school to get the better scores to acquire the money.

    Second, it is an important ability that intelligent use money for children. When lots of children have money, they may choose to spend all of it to buy something they like. It is a good chance to teach children money has many way to use. We can participate in donations to help more people who are in poverty or deformity. When I was a child my father told me money is important for everyone, so I have the habit of saving money until now. I use this money to donate the people suffering from nature catastrophe like earthquake and flood. Indeed, the ability to use money is important for children’s growth.

    To sum up, through school-age children high grade give them money as reward, not only improve their positivity of study in school, but also cultivate a good custom of money utility. Judging from what I mention above, I should reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children money as a reward for getting high marks in school.

    July 26, 2021 at 1:13 pm

    There are certain factors to consider when a growing awareness of the importance of children’s education[grammatical error/unclear  ]. Some people believe that giving children (a little reward)[irrelevant to the topic being discussed  ] is a good way to encourage them to study hard. But others consider that money is harmful to them[ unclear pronoun ]. Although the reward has many means[ word choice issue ], I firmly believe offering money to school-age children is a good idea.

    First of all, giving money to children as reward can encourage them to study harder in school. When children get the feedback because of their high grade, learning will become a happy thing. For instance, when I was in primary school student, my English was not good , so my parent made a regulation of the score , if I improve ten points in test, they will give me ten dollars as a reward. So, I study harder in school to get the better scores to acquire the money.

    Second, it is an important ability that intelligent use money for children. When lots of children have money, they may choose to spend all of it to buy something they like. It is a good chance to teach children money has many way to use. We can participate in donations to help more people who are in poverty or deformity. When I was a child my father told me money is important for everyone, so I have the habit of saving money until now. I use this money to donate the people suffering from nature catastrophe like earthquake and flood. Indeed, the ability to use money is important for children’s growth.

    To sum up, through school-age children high grade give them money as reward, not only improve their positivity of study in school, but also cultivate a good custom of money utility. Judging from what I mention above, I should reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children money as a reward for getting high marks in school.

    July 26, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    Partial revision [ All sentences are unclear; grammatical errors; wordy sentences., etc. ]

    Hulda
    University: Beijing Technology and business universty
    Nationality: china
    July 28, 2021 at 2:47 am

    With the growing awareness of children’s education. Some people believe that give children money as a reward for good grades in school is a good way to encourage them to study harder . But other people consider that money is harmful to children. Despite there are many way to reward, but I firmly believe that giving school-age children money as a reward is a good idea.

    First of all, giving children money as a reward can encourage them to study hard in school. When children get feedback for there good grades learning becomes a joyful thing. For example, when I was in elementary school, my English score is very poor, so my parents set a rule for my English examination. If the score grow by ten, they will give me ten dollars as a reward. I am so glad about this rule because I can control the money by myself and buy some posters of my favourite idol. Therefore, I study harder in school to get higher grade and acquire the reward. So I think monetary reward is definitely a good idea to encourage school-age children to study hard.

    Second, reasonable management money is an important ability for children. When many children get money, they will choose to spent it all buying something they like. Though the reward in this way, parents can tell their children that every dollar needs their work, you must use money cautiously. It is also an opportunity to teach children another way to use money. Like help more impoverish family and the disabled by participant in donations. Indeed, the use of money is very important to the growth of children.

    To sum up, by giving school-age children money as a reward, not only can they increase Enthusiasm for learning, but also cultivate their good habit of rational use of money. Judging from what I mention above, I should reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children money as a reward for getting high marks in school.

    July 28, 2021 at 3:30 am

    With the growing awareness of children’s education.[ grammatical error ] Some people believe that give [ grammatical error ]children money as a reward for good grades in school is a good[ repetition ] way to encourage them[unclear pronoun  ] to study harder .[ spacing error ] But other people consider that money is harmful to children. Despite[ grammatical error ] there are many way [grammatical error  ]to reward, but [ grammatical error ]I firmly believe that giving school-age children money as a reward is a good[repetition  ] idea.

    First of all, giving children money as a reward can encourage them to study hard in school. When children get feedback for there good grades learning becomes a joyful thing. For example, when I was in elementary school, my English score is very poor, so my parents set a rule for my English examination. If the score grow by ten, they will give me ten dollars as a reward. I am so glad about this rule because I can control the money by myself and buy some posters of my favourite idol. Therefore, I study harder in school to get higher grade and acquire the reward. So I think monetary reward is definitely a good idea to encourage school-age children to study hard.

    Second, reasonable management money is an important ability for children. When many children get money, they will choose to spent it all buying something they like. Though the reward in this way, parents can tell their children that every dollar needs their work, you must use money cautiously. It is also an opportunity to teach children another way to use money. Like help more impoverish family and the disabled by participant in donations. Indeed, the use of money is very important to the growth of children.

    To sum up, by giving school-age children money as a reward, not only can they increase Enthusiasm for learning, but also cultivate their good habit of rational use of money. Judging from what I mention above, I should reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children money as a reward for getting high marks in school.

    July 28, 2021 at 3:33 am

    Partial revision [All sentences are grammatically wrong.]