Some people argue that the development of technology is making our lives too complex

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people argue that the development of technology is making our lives too complex

  • Feng limin
    University: 山东财经大学
    Nationality: 中国
    October 9, 2020 at 2:00 am

    Some people argue that the development of technology is making our lives too complex, and the solution is for everyone to accept a simpler way of life without using that technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Some people believe that technology puts our lives into an extremely complex situation and the way to solve it is to get away from technology. I agree that technology is making our lives complex to some extent, but the solution is not living without technology.

     

    For one thing, the complexity of our lives is unavoidable with the advancement of technology. Firstly, people’s social circle is substantially extended due to various social applications, which is to say people in this present society need to deal with relationships with far more people than ever before. In addition, some electronic devices, such as smart phones, which people have to use to enjoy modern lifestyle, are being updated all the time. As a result, people have to absorb a large amount of information to stick with the latest versions, consuming money and energy.

     

    For another, it is undeniable that technology has brought us lots of convenience and nobody is able to live without it. For example, the invention of washing machine has significantly freed people’ hands. In the past, people usually needed to spend a half of day to wash their clothes, but now with pressing a button, washing machine can help you complete the tedious housework. Moreover, although facing the possibility of information explosion, people can not get rid of their mobile phones due to the reason that mobile phones have become the major tools to connect with others people. More inconvenience would be caused without technology.

     

    In conclusion, technology may bring complexity to our lives to some extent, but the advantages of it greatly outweigh the disadvantages. People would live in a more difficult way rather than a simpler way without technology.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 14, 2020 at 4:07 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Article errors
    4. Make your argument clearer in your introduction, why is not living without technology a solution?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Feng limin
    University: 山东财经大学
    Nationality: 中国
    October 18, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Some people believe that technology puts our lives into a too complex situation, and the way to solve it is to get away from technology. I agree that technology is making our lives complex to some extent, but the solution is not living without technology.

     

    For one thing, the complexity of our lives is unavoidable with the advancement of technology. Firstly, people can make connection with others easily due to various social applications. As a result, people in the present society need to deal with relationships with far more people than ever before. Secondly, some electronic devices, such as smartphones, which people have to use to enjoy the modern lifestyle, are being updated all the time. As a result, people have to absorb a large amount of information to stick with the latest versions, consuming money and energy.

     

    For another, the way to deal with such complexity is not giving up technology but using it to make our lives easier. For example, the development of artificial intelligence may help us reply massages appropriately, improving the efficiency of communication. Moreover, it is believed that we live in a information explosion age. But advanced technology could been invented to select the information and present the news that are really relevant to our lives. People have been accustomed to lives full of technology. It is more difficult for them to get rid of technology than expect new inventions in order to live in a simpler way.

     

    In conclusion, technology may bring complexity to our lives to some extent, but its advantages greatly outweigh the disadvantages. We need to take advantage of it to make our life more easier and better.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 19, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Score: 45.2

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Refer to the previous suggestion about your introduction

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.