Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both view and give you opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both view and give you opinion.

  • Lucascc
    Nationality: china
    December 22, 2020 at 1:55 am

    Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

    In this era, people seem to be either excited or worried about the celebrities’ effects in solving problems. Personally, I can understand the two opposing points of views; I am both fascinated by famous people’s support and apprehensive about its possible negative effects.

    The first important reason is that famous people have enormous fans, which can generate a lot of energy on the web. Then, as the event expands, some organizations and individuals feel the pressure of public opinion. In order to maintain their own interests or reputation, they find the solution to problems to mitigate negative effects at once. For example, there are some super stars in China like Han Hong organizing some charity parties to attract attention to help the children who lack food and clothing in remote villages. Usually, by doing that, local government and even international aid organizations lay more emphasis on children’s problems. This is the power of celebrities.

    However, it goes without saying that undue attention may stray from the primary purpose of solving problems. When it comes to an incident where a celebrity has provided support, people always focus on the celebrity rather than the problem. In their subconscious, celebrities will make things easier, which is also the blind worship of famous people by fans. Also, the media always exaggerate facts, especially the effects and contributions of celebrities, but it ignores the importance of the problem. For instance, letting celebrities promote water conversation is to increase public awareness of environmental protection, instead of highlighting the excellent qualities of them.

    In conclusion, we should use the celebrity effect reasonably, and not underestimate its defects because of the benefits.

    January 10, 2021 at 6:44 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Some pronouns are unclear in the context. Replace them with nouns or noun phrases.

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