Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Pick one side and make an argument
2. Article errors
3. Preposition errors
4. Word choice errors

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Partial revision – essay needs significant editing

When people are in a terrible situation, some people choose to accept it. Others try to change it. Both choices have their reasons, and here’s why. (Rewrite – introduction is too simple – state your argument here, which side will you argue for?)

For acceptable people, being not anxious to an unsatisfactory job is beneficial to their mental and physical health (word choice errors). According to In my own experience, I went used to go through a bad situation during my first year in high school with for study and relationship problems. But I did not accept the circumstances and always thought about changing it. As a result, I developed a skin condition got skin healthy problem that took a long time to heal due to because of too much pressure. So acceptance is a way to protect yourself (include more detail here).

For people trying to improve, it is a the strong will that became the key to change the situation. If people accept the trouble but never take actions to recover it (rephrase). The situation will not be stable. On the contrary , it will get worse. Back to myself, after I accepted the mistakes I made, I tried to handle my study and relationship in a better way. Improve the situation is inevitable.

From my perspective, acceptance is the first step , and improvement will be the second. It is necessary that you should clam down and analysis, then we can move on.