Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

  • Connor
    University: University of Macau
    Nationality: China
    July 31, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    With the advance of some modern communication technology, sharing academic and business information has become more and more convenient. Some people consider it valuable to share as much information as possible, while I do not agree with this opinion.

    Some people believe that sharing information with peers plays a vital role in achieving academic and commercial progress. Scientists, as well as entrepreneurs can draw inspiration from others, which may hold the key to problems they are meeting. For example, a breakthrough in a new theory can cause a chain reaction which helps other researchers and students achieve more outcomes. Similarly, a new commercial assumption is capable of launching an industrial campaign and subsequently changing the whole commercial world.

    On the other hand, opponents also argue that keeping some information or limiting its spread can assist pioneers in gaining competitive advantages. New academic outcomes and business models are effective tools which broaden the gap between other competitors in their fields. One example is that the innovation in high-capacity batteries enables a large number of scientists to keep the leading status against those who other available solutions and create some predominant companies. If they share this information, situation would be completely different.

    From my point of view, keeping information which is of great importance, although sharing has its own advantages. The rights of fully controlling knowledge and ideas they generate virtually encourage these outstanding academics and merchants to pursue more innovations, as their interests are protected. For instance, researchers can earn a decent life by sharing with others at a reasonable cost. Businesses are also likely to embrace more opportunities and increase revenue by applying their unique commercial ideas. All of these are motivations of their future innovations.

    In conclusion, I believe that keeping some important information is advisable, although some people argue that sharing information as much as possible is sensible.

     

    August 3, 2020 at 4:04 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Make your argument clearer in your introduction, why do you disagree?
    2. Repetitive sentences
    3. Article errors
    4. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.