Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

  • cowboi
    University: NUIST
    Nationality: China
    May 24, 2021 at 1:12 pm

    Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

    Human beings are now living a much more comfortable life than what they do thousands and even hundreds of years ago, however, we achieved which at a cost of the destruction of ecology system, leading to a large quantities of animals and plants left in danger. As a response to this topic, some people go to extremes to solve the problem that they vote for making extraordinary efforts to save them, regardless of the time, money, and human labor in use. This kind of thoughts are ridiculous as it has the order reversed because the primary purpose is to protect and provide a better life for living things to save human being ourselves.

    Nowadays, although many people all around the world are living in good conditions, purchasing for better environment and easier access to wild nature, for example, living alone beside a small hill and a clean lake surrounded by lovely wild birds and squirrels, there are still a large number of people living a inpecunious life in danger, with no access to clean water and reliable food. As a person, contrary to wild animals, what we should help and save first are those people, the same creature as ourselves, in need. Also, to most people, the primary purpose to save wildlife is to protect our ecosystem in order that we could live in reliable food resources and a stable natural environment without too much uncertainty. Given that the global ecosystem has not been injured to the extent where humans will be living in danger if we do not take utmost efforts to protect it, what we should consider first is just humans, not plants and animals.

    It may seem plausible that plants and animals are living things too so that they deserve to be helped just as human beings. However, this view contradicts a common belief that us human all kinds of creatures tend to put themselves first, so mankind choosing to help humans and rejecting extraordinary efforts to save other creatures is not only human nature, but also a common practice around the world ecosystem containing all kinds of creatures.

    To sum up, I am against the extraordinary efforts to save wild plants and animals as it is contrary to what a normal person will choose to do at the point of time that humans are not all living a good life.

    May 31, 2021 at 4:16 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 110 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.