Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • oooddd
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 6, 2020 at 3:51 am

    Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

    Recently people tend to have more options for almost everything, from their shampoos to the places they choose to live. Although it seems to be beneficial for those who enjoy trying different things, others who prefer a stable life may not show any appreciation for this trend. In my opinion, changing can be enjoyable and positive for one’s future development.

    Doing the same thing enable some people to feel less pressure and they could perform well in the same field. Changes can bring anxiety because they bring the likelihood of failure at the same time. Due to the afraid of losing jobs, a large portion of people, especially olderly people, choose to do the same work and never jump out of their safe zones. In this case, they are likely to enjoy good pensions and health insurance after their retirement. However, finding a permanent job sounds to be a fantasy in the modern world.

    It is fair to say that changes equal to challenges and personal development can be achieved by overcoming these challenges. In this fast-changing world, people are forced to continually improve their skills, otherwise, they will be lagged behind others. Therefore, someone treat changing jobs as a method to get a promotion or higher salary. By working with different teams, a variety of skills and knowledge can be acquired and these experiences enable them to boraden their horizons, which makes them an ideal choice for many companies.

    People who change more frequently can choose the option which suits them best. It can be difficult for young people to choose the right job soon after their graduations. They may try to do  different jobs that vary in locations or fields to find the most suitable one and enrich their experiences as well. In the contrary, these benefits are not accessible to those who have fixed lifesytle.

    In conclusion, a steady life can be ideal for some people, but it lacks challenges and achievements that are offered by changes. I think that people should make some changes to develp themselves and find the life that suits them best.

    July 6, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    oooddd
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 7, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    Technological developments have imposed various changes in our world. Some people believe those changes have positive impacts, while other people who prefer a stable life may not appreciate this trend. In my opinion, adapting to some changes can be beneficial to one’s future development.

    Doing the same thing allows some people to feel less pressure and they could perform well in the field they are familiar with. They may become anxious about changes appear in their life because changes indicate uncertainty. In order to achieve security in their career path, a lot of people choose not to change their job and never jump out of their safe zones. In this case, they are likely to enjoy good pensions and health insurance after their retirement.

    However, finding a permanent job sounds to be a fantasy in the modern world. In this fast-changing world, people should continually improve their skills, otherwise, they will lag behind others. Some employees treat changing jobs as a method to get a promotion or higher salary. By working with different teams, they can acquire a variety of skills and knowledge which enables them to broaden their horizons.

    Meanwhile, People who change more frequently can find the option which suits them best. For example, young people are encouraged to take up different internships before graduation. They try to do different jobs that vary in locations or fields, allowing them to find the most suitable one and enrich their experiences. On the contrary, these benefits are not accessible to those who resist change.

    In conclusion, avoiding change is safe for some people, but it lacks challenges and achievements that are available by adapting to changes. I think that people should make some changes to develop themselves and find a life that suits them best.

    July 8, 2020 at 11:47 pm

    Score: 63.6

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them. Reduce it to 15% or less. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    oooddd
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: Chinese
    July 11, 2020 at 8:06 am

    Technological developments have imposed various changes in our world. Some people believe those changes are advantageous, while others argue that this trend is detrimental to their stable life. In my opinion, adapting to some changes can be beneficial to one’s future development.

    Repetitive work is less stressful, which allows people to perform well in a given field. They may become anxious about changes appear in their life because changes indicate uncertainty.Therefore, many people choose to stay in the same position for their entire working life to secure their jobs. In this case, they are likely to enjoy good pensions and health insurance after their retirement.

    However, finding a permanent job sounds to be a fantasy in the modern world. In this fast-changing world, people should continually improve their skills. Otherwise, they will lag behind others who are agile enough to accomodate changes. Some employees treat changing jobs as a method to get a promotion or higher salary. By working in different teams, they can acquire new skills and knowledge, which can broaden their horizons.

    Meanwhile, people who change more frequently can find the option which suits them best. For example, young people are encouraged to take up different internships before graduation. Different jobs that vary in functions or fields allow the youth to head down the right path for them. On the contrary, these benefits are not accessible to those who resist change.

    In conclusion, avoiding change is reasonable, but it lacks challenges and achievements that are available by adapting to changes. I believe that people should make some changes to develop themselves and find a life that suits them best.

    July 16, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    Final Revision

    Technological developments have imposed various changes (add detail, what kind of changes?) in our world. Some people believe those changes are advantageous, while others argue that this trend is detrimental to their stable life (unclear). In my opinion, adapting to some changes can be beneficial to one’s future development (this sentence is too vague, adapting to what changes? and how can it be beneficial? ).

    Repetitive work is less stressful, which allows people to perform well in a given field (be more specific). They (unclear pronoun) may become anxious about changes (missing word) appear in their life because changes (singular) indicate uncertainty. Therefore, many people choose to stay in the same position for their entire working life to secure their jobs (rephrase). In this case, they are likely to enjoy good pensions and health insurance after their retirement. (provide a specific example in this paragraph, what jobs are you talking about?)

    However, finding a permanent job sounds to be (rephrase) a fantasy in the modern world. In this fast-changing world, people should continually improve their skills. Otherwise, they will lag behind others who are agile enough to accomodate (spelling error) changes. (combine two previous sentences) Some employees treat changing jobs as a method to get a promotion or higher salary. By working in different teams, they can acquire new skills and knowledge, which can broaden their horizons. (provide an example here too)

    Meanwhile, people who change (change what?) more frequently can find the (article error) option which suits them best. For example, young people are encouraged to take up different internships before graduation. Different jobs that vary in functions or fields allow the youth (word choice) to head down the right path for them. On the contrary, these benefits are not accessible to those who resist change.

    In conclusion, avoiding change is reasonable (word choice), but it lacks (use different verb) challenges and achievements that are available by adapting to changes (rephrase). I believe that people should make some changes to develop themselves and find a life that suits them best.