Some people say government should give health care the first priorities, others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say government should give health care the first priorities, others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  • sodadada
    University: OUC
    Nationality: China
    May 23, 2020 at 2:46 am

    Some people say government should give health care the first priorities, others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    Healthcare service has always been a global concern. Although some people believe it is government’s responsibility to put healthcare service in the first place, others argue that money should be allocated to handle other social issues. I feel that government should spend money evenly in solving social problems.

    The main reason why so many people support prioritizing healthcare service is it improves well-being of the country’s residents. Coping with the fast-paced life, many people suffer from some certain diseases caused from the workplace and lifestyle, such as black lung and cardiovascular disease. If governments strongly promote universal healthcare, people will suffer less from diseases and live longer, healthier, and happier lives.

    Despite the importance of providing healthcare, others argue other social issues need to be taken into account, such as eradicating poverty. Poverty traps individuals and decreases mobility. Children who grow up in poor families are more likely to be poor as adults, compared to children from upper-income families. These poor adults are also more likely to have poor children of their own. People trapped in poverty are much more likely to end up being unemployed or committing crimes, which severely undermines social stability.

    In my opinion, healthcare is not the first priority for governments to consider. People do not necessarily die from illnesses. They also die from poverty, starvation, or homelessness. Social issues are entangled and deeply connected, and they are equally important for governments to tackle with. If every individual has access to education, for instance, they will have a better chance to facilitate their future with a good career prospect so that they may afford healthcare without government’s funding.

    In conclusion, countries should balance its budget and wisely spend taxpayers’ money on vital services that benefit the whole community.

    June 9, 2020 at 10:54 pm

    Score: 50.5

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.