Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  • HayleyMarshall
    University: Soochow University
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 3, 2020 at 2:10 am

    Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    It is easy to notice that music is an effective way to bring people with different cultural backgrounds closer together. I believe that music has the power.

    It is  a common sense that music is a way to express internal emotions, such as depression, happiness and so forth. And these emotions are quite common to people all over the world. Therefore, when people listen to music that can reflect their feelings, they may burst into tears. In this case, people will ignore the language of the music. Hence, people around the world could get closer because of the music.

    Additionally, the music is a tool to disseminate culture. Music from different regions shows their unique culture. For example, Chinese music may be more gentle and its lyrics often contain ancient words. What’s more, Chinese music is accompanied by classical instruments, such as Guzheng. And American music may be much stronger and more energetic, such as hip pop music. Thus, when people are interested in other cultures, music can provide them the opportunity, as a result, people all over the world could be closer together.

    However, some music may not function well. For instance, the lyrics of some music show racial discrimination, causing arguments among people from different countries.

    In conclusion, although some music may stimulate conflicts, the majority of music can bring people of different cultural backgrounds and generation closer together.

    June 3, 2020 at 2:30 am

    Score: 60.4

    Issues:

    1. Various grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    HayleyMarshall
    University: Soochow University
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 5, 2020 at 12:14 am

    Music is an effective way to bring people of different cultural backgrounds closer together. I agree that music has this power.

    It is the common sense that music is a way to express internal emotions, such as depression, happiness, and so forth. And these emotions are quite usual to people all over the world. For instance, people may resonate when they hear music that reflects general feelings. In this case, people will ignore the language of music. Hence, people around the world could get closer because of the music.

    Additionally, music is a tool to disseminate culture. Music from different regions shows its unique culture. For example, Chinese music may be more gentle and its lyrics often contain ancient words. What’s more, Chinese music is accompanied by classical instruments, such as Guzheng. And American music may be rhythmic and more energetic, such as hip-pop music. Thus, people could understand other cultures deeply through music.

    Nevertheless, some music may not function well. Some of the music contains racist lyrics, causing quarrels between people of different colors.

    In conclusion, music can bring people of different cultural backgrounds closer together, though a small amount of music may cause conflicts.

    June 8, 2020 at 11:27 pm

    Score: 62

    Music is an effective way to bring people of different cultural backgrounds closer together. [ repetition from the essay topic ] I agree that music has this power.

    It is the common sense that music is a way to express internal emotions, such as depression, happiness, and so forth. And these These emotions are quite usual to people all over the world. For instance, people may resonate when they hear music that reflects general feelings. In this case, people will ignore the (language of music) [ unclear ]. Hence, people around the world could get closer because of the music. [lack of logical connection from the last sentence.  ]

    Additionally, music is a tool to disseminate culture. Music from different regions shows its unique culture. For example, Chinese music may be more gentle and its lyrics often contain ancient words. What’s more, Chinese music is accompanied by classical instruments, such as Guzheng. And American music, such as hip pop, may be rhythmic and more energetic, such as hip-pop music [misplaced  ]. Thus, people could understand other cultures deeply through music. [lack of logical connection from the last sentence  ]

    Nevertheless, some music may not function well. [  bad topic sentence. Write a TP that echoes your thesis. ] Some of the music contains racist lyrics, causing which can lead to quarrels between people of different colors.

    In conclusion, music can bring people of different cultural backgrounds closer together [ repetition from the topic ], though a small amount of music may cause conflicts.

    HayleyMarshall
    University: Soochow University
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 9, 2020 at 2:42 am

    Music can connect people of different cultural backgrounds and ages and make them more intimate. I agree that music has this power.

    It is the common sense that music is a way to express internal emotions, such as depression, happiness, and so forth. These emotions are quite usual to people all over the world. For instance, people may resonate when they hear music that reflects general feelings. In this case, different languages are less important. What is matter is that music in different languages could resonate with people all over the world. Hence, people who resonate with each other would be connected by music.

    Additionally, music is a tool to disseminate culture. Music from different regions shows its unique culture. For example, Chinese music may be more gentle and its lyrics often contain ancient words. What’s more, Chinese music is accompanied by classical instruments, such as Guzheng. And American music, such as hip-pop, may be rhythmic and more energetic. Thus, music from different regions can show the local culture. As a result, people who want to understand other cultures through music could be intimate.

    Nevertheless, some music may have the opposite effects, such as leading to clash. Some of the music contains racist lyrics, which can lead to quarrels between people of different colors.

    In conclusion, music can bring people of different cultural backgrounds and generations get along well or even become close friends, though a small amount of music may cause conflicts.

    June 10, 2020 at 1:16 am

    Score: 64.2

    Music can connect people of different cultural backgrounds and ages and make them more intimate[ improper word ]. I agree that music has this power.[lack of new information]

    It is the common sense that music is a way to express internal emotions, such as depression, and happiness, and so forth. These emotions are quite usual to people all over the world. For instance, people may resonate when they hear music that reflects( general feelings)[ unclear ]. In this case, (different languages)[ unclear ] are less important. What is matter[  grammatical error] is that music in different languages could resonate with people all over the world. Hence, people who resonate[repetition  ] with each other would be connected by music.[ redundant/repeating same information ]

    Additionally, music is a tool to disseminate culture. Music from different regions shows its unique culture. For example, Chinese music may be more[lack of comparison  ] gentle and its lyrics often contain ancient words[ so? ]. What’s more, Chinese music is accompanied by classical instruments, such as Guzheng[then?  ]. And[ grammatical error with coordinating conjunction ] American music, such as hip-pop, may be rhythmic and more[ lack of comparison ] energetic. Thus, music from different regions can show the local culture. As a result, (people who want to understand other cultures through music could be intimate.)[unclear  ]

    Nevertheless, some music may have the opposite effects, such as leading to[  article error] clash[unclear  ]. Some of the music contains racist lyrics, which can lead to quarrels between people of different colors.

    In conclusion, music can bring [ wrong verb ]people of different cultural backgrounds and generations get along well or even become close friends[  rewrite the sentence], though a small amount of music may cause conflicts.