Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  • zhaochenxixixi
    University: xjtlu
    Nationality: China
    October 5, 2020 at 3:37 pm

    Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    Recently, although almost everyone argues about the necessary medical provision should provide to children, there is some dispute about whether parents or the authority has the right to decide the form of health care. My own view is that while parents learn more about their children, the government could give a better succinct policy to protect children.

    There are good grounds for arguing that guardian should have the ultimate say about the decision. One of these is that parents know which medical treatment is most suitable for their children. It is true that a standard medical advice may not work for all the children, so parents want to protect children from unknown side effects. For example, some children are afraid of injections, parents will consider the point and choose a more moderate method. Another is that it is an illegal action that the hospital decides the therapy without the permission of parents. Concretely, if the therapy hurts the child, the hospital needs to be brought to justice. In this case, the state’s responsibility is only to provide professional advice.

    There is equally a strong argument for that not only can the government bring a professional therapy, but also it can protect children without no side effects. This is because one extremely important principle is most adults are not as professional as doctors in caring babies. If they reject doctors’ advice, their children may suffer a lot. Similarly, there is particularly a point that the compulsory medical treatment such as vaccination has no side effects for children’s health. For instance, every vaccination published by the state has been tested million times and proved that security. Therefore, if the child has not been vaccinated at a young age, she or he will be more likely to the infection.

    In a conclusion, although the guardian has right to reject recommended healthcare, my opinion is that children could benefit more if they comply with the governments’ medical care.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 14, 2020 at 4:33 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Preposition errors
    4. Article errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.