Some people think one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles.

  • zhangyuer
    University: zhejiang
    Nationality: China
    August 4, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    Some people think one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

     

    Nowadays, environmental protection is a vital task that many countries are confronted with. Some people reckon that raising the price of fuel is one of the most effective approaches to address environmental issues. However, in my opinion, this method may work but it is not the best.

     

    There is no denying that private car use is one of the main causes of the increase in environmental problems such as smoggy weather greenhouse effect and acid rain. Therefore, improving the cost of fuel can restrict people to drive private cars. However, this policy would also affect the price of public transport. As a consequence, bus or metro tickets would be improved, which is unpopular with students the poor and even commuters. So there are other significant measures that could be implemented.

     

    Firstly, governments can encourage citizens to take public transport by improving these vehicles frequency and quality. For example, in the rush hour, there could be more buses and subways,   while when it is not so busy, governments can just lower the transport frequency in order to save energy in the quieter periods. Also, governments can expand car capacity and add air conditioners so that passengers would have more comfortable traveling experience. These strategies can effectively appeal people to commute by public transport instead of driving private cars.

     

    Apart from that, the public’s wills and behaviour have a crucial impact on environmental problems. So that individuals should also shoulder this responsibility, since they all live on this planet. They can improve their ecological footprint awareness to develop a low carbon lifestyle. For instance, they can think of cycling as a way of commuting in their daily life, which not only can strengthen environmental protection, but also can help people keep healthy.

     

    In conclusion, raising the price of fossil fuel for cars or other transports is one of the effective ways to ease environmental problems, but improving the public transportation system and people’ awareness are equally important.

    August 6, 2020 at 4:22 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Make your argument clear in your introduction, why is it not the best?
    2. Article errors
    3. Verb form errors
    4. About 25% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zhangyuer
    University: zhejiang
    Nationality: China
    August 6, 2020 at 6:01 am

    thank you so much! I resubmitted my essay already.

    August 6, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    Nowadays, many countries are facing environmental protection. Some people reckon that raising the price of fuel is one of the most effective approaches to address environmental issues. While I suppose this method is not the best. In this essay I am going to talk about the reason why I disagree about this solution and give my own opinions.

    There is no denying that private car use is one of the main causes of environmental problems such as smoggy weather greenhouse effect and acid rain. Improving the cost of fuel can restrict people to drive private cars. As a result, there would be less emission of harmful gas in the air. However, this policy would also affect the price of public transport. For example, bus or metro tickets would be improved. But this change would not affect the habits of rich people. Instead, it would only hurt the interest of general people. Therefore, it is not the best way to solve the environmental problems.

    I believe there are some other significant solutions. Firstly, governments can encourage citizens to take public transport by improving its frequency and quality. For example, in the rush hour, there could be more buses and subways. Also, governments can expand public transport capacity and add air conditioners, so that passengers would have more comfortable traveling experience. These strategies can effectively appeal citizens to commute by public transport instead of driving private cars.

    Apart from that, the public’s wills and behaviors have crucial impacts on environmental problems. Individuals should also shoulder this responsibility, since they all live on this planet. They can improve their ecological footprint awareness to develop a low carbon lifestyle. For instance, they can choose to riding the bike in their daily commute, which not only can strengthen environmental protection, but also can help people keep healthy.

    In conclusion, raising the price of fossil fuel for cars or other transports is one of the effective ways to ease environmental problems. However, improving the public transportation system and people’s awareness are equally important.

    August 6, 2020 at 10:09 pm

    Nowadays, many countries are (facing environmental protection)[unclear/rephrase  ]. [ logical disconnection ]Some people reckon that raising (the price of fuel)[verbose/rephrase  ] is one of the most effective approaches to address environmental issues. (While I suppose this method is not the best. In this essay I am going to talk about the reason why I disagree about this solution and give my own opinions.)[verbose/rephrase and summarize reasons here.   ]

    (There is no denying that)[verbose/use one word  ] private car use is one of the main causes of environmental problems( such as smoggy weather greenhouse effect and acid rain)[punctuation error  ]. [ logical disconnection ]Improving [wrong word  ]the cost of fuel can restrict[ use a more proper word ] people to drive private[redundant  ] cars. (As a result, there would be less emission of harmful gas in the air. ) [ combine it with the last sentence ]However, (this policy)[unclear  ] would also affect[use a clearer word  ] the price of public transport. For example, (bus or metro tickets ) [  unclear/rephrase]would be improved[ wrong word ]. But this change would not affect the[ article error/general description ] habits of rich people. Instead, it would only hurt the interest of general people. [ combine it with the last sentence ]Therefore, it is not the best way to solve the[ article error ] environmental problems.

    I believe there are some other significant [ wrong word ]solutions. Firstly, governments can encourage citizens to take public transport by improving its frequency and (quality)[  use a clearer word]. For example, in[ /during ] the rush hour, there could be more buses and subways. [Also, governments can expand public transport capacity and add air conditioners, so that passengers would have [ article error ]more comfortable traveling experience.][ logically confusing/rephrase ] These strategies can (effectively appeal)[ conflicting/redundant words ] citizens (to commute by public transport)[ rephrase it to make it shorter ] instead of driving private cars.

    Apart from that[unclear pronoun  ], the public’s (wills and behaviors)[ word form error ] have crucial impacts[ word form error ] on environmental problems[ rephrase to improve clarity ]. Individuals should also shoulder this responsibility[ specify ],[punctuation error  ] (since they all live on this planet)[ irrelevant ]. They can improve (their ecological footprint awareness)[ unclear ] to develop a (low carbon)[word form error  ] lifestyle. For instance, they can choose to riding [grammatical error  ]the bike in their daily commute, which not only can[ misplace ] strengthen environmental protection[ unclear ], [punctuation error  ]but also can help people keep healthy.

    In conclusion, raising the [ article error ]price of fossil fuel for cars or other transports is one of the effective ways to ease environmental problems. However, improving the [article error  ]public transportation system and people’s awareness are equally important.